Harder to Shine
by fashiongirl97
Summary: When she had married him all those years ago, she had known that it would never be the perfect marriage. After all, the perfect man had long since been left in her wake. Yet now, as she looked back, never had she thought though that she'd be the wife who stood silently by whilst her husband shamelessly cheated on her. -Please read and tell me what you think!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – so this is my new story, and I have had it in my head for absolutely ages, but I've switched it around and finally written it. It's slightly inspired by the book I'm reading called 'fly away home' Anyway, please read and enjoy!**

* * *

Harder to Shine

Chapter 1

When she had married him all those years ago, she had known that it would never be the perfect marriage. After all, the perfect man had long since been left in her wake. Yet now, as she looked back, never had she thought though that she'd be the wife who stood silently by whilst her husband shamelessly cheated on her.

* * *

Standing there on the balcony, outside of MTAC she felt like a bigamist. Tired and fed up with her life she had emerged from MTAC only moments before having had a conference call with the SecNav. It turned out that he was – for once – congratulating her instead of offending her and having a go. He'd called to say well done on the closing on a high profile case earlier that day. Gibbs' high profile case to be specific. A case she had had to fight tooth and nail with the FBI to get control of. However for once it had paid off, the case had not reached the Media and the culprit had been caught without – miraculously – Gibbs offending any high ranking officials.

Her long red hair cascaded down one shoulder. She was wearing the bright red lipstick her husband so hated, the trousers that he would prefer she not wear and a blouse she remembered him once saying was 'adequate for work'. His opinions on her clothing and style had never been so strong when they had first been seeing each other. Yet ever since they had moved to DC when she'd been given the Directors post and he'd been made a senator, his control over her had increased. She knew it wasn't done to hurt her; he just wanted the perfect wife. She was Jennifer Shepard the Cornels daughter and Georgetown graduate, the woman who would stand beside him at speeches and sit and look pretty at dinner parties. He didn't want Director Shepard the ambitious woman who was always looking to go further, or Special Agent Jenny who would put her life on the hand. Then there was Probie Jen, the woman who he had never known. Jen, a young woman who had been sleeping with her boss whilst doing the one thing she had promised herself she wouldn't: fall in love with him. Jen, a woman who had conducted a scandalous affair that spread halfway across Europe. He wanted Jennifer, a completely different woman to the person she was. In reality the person he wanted was a woman who was simply an imaged that was portrayed by makeup and facades, a woman who existed no where other than in his mind.

Somehow, no matter what it was that he said, her husband had never managed to stop her wearing heels. Even when he tried, it was like the one small thread that connected her to the woman she had once been. The one piece that reminded her of the daring young woman who had risked her life for the people she cared about. As she looked down over what she supposed was her kingdom, Jenny Shepard realised just how little of that person there was left. The woman who Jethro had loved, and who had left him standing alone. She wondered if that was the moment she'd lost herself, or maybe it was when she first agreed to marry Richard. The American politician, the one who wore suits only from American designers as 'the rest hung wrong'. The brown haired man, who wore too much gel in his hair, and yet had barely any personality. She wondered sometimes what she had ever seen in him, but then she'd remember. She'd seen everything that Jethro hadn't been, everything that wasn't the man she wanted. Jenny had married him because she wanted to forget about Gibbs.

Seeing him stood there now, laughing with Hollis Mann who was on a case. Standing and leaning over him a little too provocatively to be considered decent. Jenny couldn't help but wonder why it was that she always ended up being the person Army CID sent over. She'd never ask though. Because seeing the man she loved smile at another woman may break her heart a million times over, but let her know that she had not ruined his life. Jenny knew that he was not moping in the past, not moping over her, and whilst that was more bitter than sweet, it was sweet enough for her to keep her mouth shut.

Abby came up, her bug platform boots and dog collars, the red head could not ignore the niggling feeling that Abby would never have her clothes dictated to her. Neither would Ziva for that fact, she'd probably stab the man before he even tried. Watching as the two women smiled and laughed before going to their men. Neither of the duo's were a couple, yet it was more than scuttlebutt that they would be. They were the perfect match. Someone who had dared take Tony's role as bookmaker would be making a fortune on those four, and Jenny knew it. Abby left moments later on McGee's arm, Jen caught the end of something about animals and building shelters. Then she watched, a smirk on her lips as Ziva and Tony left, bickering about which film they were going to see. He, of course, denied it was a date in front of Gibbs as not to break rule #12. But Jenny, along with the rest of NCIS was well aware that it was in fact a date.

Jenny ran a hand through her long red hair, sighing quietly. The day was nearly over and yet she knew she would leave work in a couple of hours to go to her other job – being the senator's wife. Was that what married life was meant to feel like? She wondered, like a burden rather than a pleasure? Watching Jethro she caught his eye. Those piercing blue eyes that she swore could read her mind. Turning her head quickly she walked into her office, black stilettos moving silently on the carpeted floor.

Walking into her office, her ever loyal assistant stopped her for a moment and handed Jenny a suit bag. "You husband sent this over for you, he wants you to wear it tonight." Jenny often wondered what her assistant thought of her bosses' marriage. It was always Cynthia that would hear the groaning, and moaning and cursing about her husband. As per usual she rolled her eyes at the thought of her husband dressing her. "He also wanted you to ring him as soon as you were able to." She said with a smile.

"More like as soon as I got told." Jenny muttered under her breath, watching as he assistant smirked. "Thank you Cynthia. You go home now, I'll see you tomorrow." Jenny said sighing, before walking back into her office, allowing the door to slam behind her in a way that Gibbs would be proud of. Walking over to the bathroom door she hung up the suit bag, unzipping it quickly to see the dress inside: a blue formal dress that came just below the knee. She rolled her eyes, a politics dress, one she absolutely hated.

Taking her shoes off, she threw them halfway across the room and walked over to her desk, unlocking her phone and pressing the call button next to her husband's name. She put the phone to her ear and began to open up a case file. "Jennifer." He answered, and she inwardly winced. She'd always hated being called that, he mother had been the only person who called her it, and after her death it held too many memories. Ducky was different, he sounded like a caring grandfather, but her husband sounded like an angry boss.

"Richard, you wanted me to call." She replied in the sweetest voice that she could manage. Slowly she read through the file in front of her.

"…did you get the dress dear?" He asked her and she rolled her eyes.

"No, my assistant decided to sell it on eBay." She answered, already sick of him.

"Did you fire her?" Jenny leant back and rolled her eyes, he really never had got sarcasm. Which considering he was married to one of the most sarcastic women in America often proved a problem.

"Never mind Richard."

"I don't understand, you got the dress then?"

"Yes I got the dress." She said almost patronisingly.

"So why-"

2Richard I was being sarcastic, just drop it now."

"Jennifer please, do no treat me like a child."

"I have work Richard, what was it?"

"Oh yes, I wanted to let you know I would like you to tie your hair up, and put your fringe back to. Oh and Jennifer would you mind not wearing red lipstick? Only with some of them men coming tonight I don' want you to seem as though you are single. Also would you be willing to give the heels a break for a night?" He asked.

"No."

"I thought as much…" He began before droning on about something else. Picking up a pen she began doodling on the pad next to her. Hearts and cubes, swirls and anything to take her mind of her husband. She made notices like she was listening when she remembered, but she just wanted to hang up. At the moment she was nearly dozing off Jethro came barging in. She held a finger up to him and tried to get her husband to shut up.

"Richard, I need to go, work calls." She said, sternly.

"Well if you would leave that god forsaken job then we wouldn't have this problem."

"I'm not even starting this conversation. I need to go."

"Yes, very well then Jennifer, be home by seven please."

"Right." And with that she hung up, hitting the end call button hard enough to break the phone before sending it flying with a perfectly aimed shot to the sofa on the other side of the room. She then turned to Jethro, he raised an eyebrow and she gave him a glare that clearly said to drop it. "What can I do for you Agent Gibbs?" Since she'd come back there was a formality between them that wasn't always serious. She was jealous of his relationship with Hollis, and he knew it. But she knew that she had no right to be, she was the one who was married after all. He wouldn't cross that line, not when he thought that she was married happily, however if he knew what he view on her marriage was then maybe he would have a change of heart. For now though, both of them knew all too well that this professional act was as far as they would ever get.

"Case reports." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. HE saw the dark shadows under her eyes, noticed the look in her eyes and it worried him. He knew she'd been leaving alter than him more and more often of late. Knew she got in early and worked herself stupid He wonder when she actually ate, she'd always been thin, but now she was too thin. Looking at her he wondered just what went on behind her mask. "You want me to go and get Abby and Ducky's reports director?" He asked. But he said it in a softer tone, as though he was saying it as a friend instead of as an agent.

"That would be really helpful thank you Agent Gibbs." She said, smiling, and with that he left. Looking at her clock she saw she had forty-five minutes before she was due home. She also knew that the day she got home at the time he wanted her to, was the day she turned into a six year old child.

Watching him leave she sighed, got up and picked up her dress before walking into the bathroom and putting on the dress. She splashed water on her face and then dabbed it dry. Digging out her makeup bag she put on her foundation, and reapplied the rest of her makeup. Then she looked into the mirror. He wanted her hair up, that she didn't mind but he wanted her fringe up too – that she did mind. But for tonight she decided she would do as he asked, she couldn't be bothered to argue tonight. So she grabbed a bobble off of the basin side and captured the red locks in a neat bun. Then she grabbed a few bobby pins and clipped her fringe back. She looked at the red lipstick, but instead pulled out a pale pink one 'moonshine' it read. Then, silently she walked back into the office, and sat down on the sofa, checking her phone subconsciously.

Jethro then walked into the office. He stopped at looked at her. Standing up in stocking clad feet she walked over. "Why you dressed like that?" He asked, all the formalities dropped.

"Leave it Jethro."

"Jenny, I know you, you hate just below the knee dresses, and you hate your fringe up and always wear lipstick."

She stopped and glared at him. "Maybe I have changed Gibbs."

"No, no you haven't, not inside you haven't." She looked at him, eyes wide and shocked. But before she even had a chance to get the words out of her mouth he was walking out. Leaning back against the desk she closed her eyes.

"To hell with it." She whispered, sitting down and opening all of the files. Slowly she began to read the file and completely forgot about time. IT was fifteen minutes after she was due home that Jenny finally out her pen down. She grabbed her bag and placed all of the old clothes in it. Then Jenny placed her stilettos in on and grabbed a jacket. With that she left.

It was time to play the good wife.

When the black town car pulled up outside of the town centre terrace house they had bought together all those years ago, Jenny could not help but think that she wished the journey was longer. But it wasn't, she was home. And all of the things she hated to be, she had to be now. So slowly she got out of the car, walked over the path and opened the front door. There was the sound of male laughter inside and she closed her eyes, placed the bag down and took off her jacket. It was time to play Jennifer now.

So she went thought into the living room and over to her husband, a small smile on her cheek. "Jennifer." He said with a smile, he kissed her cheek and whispered: "You're late."

Jenny had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "Had to work." She said, almost petulantly. She then turned to all of them men and smiled.

"Well, it is the power couple." One of her husband's slightly too posh acquaintances said. That was what the press had labelled them. The Senator and Director – the power couple. The thing was, she knew if it ever came down to it she had more influence. She also knew that one day it would. This marriage would not alt forever, she knew about the string of affairs he'd had that spanned back since the first six months of their marriage. Knew about them all, and yet for some reason she had never confronted him. There had even been numerous times over the years, when he had accused her of having an affair with Gibbs. Yet she never had, but she knew he'd had them. She could leave now and file for divorce, yet she knew she wouldn't and so did he. Often, at night when she was lying awake she'd wonder what she was still doing here. Why she hadn't left him. The only conclusion she had ever come to was that she had always wanted to perfect life. The red head wanted a job which would have made her father proud and a husband who would have pleased her mother. And that was what she had. So for now she ignored it, because she didn't want to face the reality that her life was so far from perfect, perfect was not living with a broken heart.

Jenny laughed at the statement; kissed them all on the cheek and hen lead them into the dining room where they ate dinner. Talk was on politics, and whilst she had her opinions, she knew that tonight was the night to sit and look pretty, not the fight for what you believe in night. When the time came to go to the living room once more she was bored. "Darling, why don't you turn in for the night and let us men talk shop." Richard said. Jenny had to fight the urge to respond with a sharp tongue. But it turned out she didn't need to.

"I think the director talks better shop than the lot of us put together." One of the other men stated with a light hearted smile. She had had to work with him many times over two years, and in recent months wondered why it was not hams he was married to. After all at least he would not be moaning at her to quit her job. But Jenny just laughed, whilst she would love to challenge her husband's opinions she was tired, and didn't want to be in the same room as him. Briefly she wondered if she was too harsh. Jenny would love to be able to repair the marriage; she just didn't think that he would ever see what was wrong with it.

"As much as I would love to beat you all in a debate, I do have work to be doing anyway." She said with a small smile – fake obviously. "I'll let you boys be." She kissed her husband's cheek and left the room. She knew the men's eyes were on her, but she also knew that her husbands were not. That was a feeling that made her heart sank.

By the time she reached the spare room which she used as an office she had had enough. Silently, curled up in a ball she let herself do something she hadn't done in months: she cried. Because Jenny knew that she had made a massive mistake in her life. And she was not quite sure that she was going to be able to repair it.

* * *

**I hope that you all liked it. Please review and tell me what you thought. If I get a good response I'll keep up with writing it. **

**Thanks xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – thank you all so very much for the reviews, I am honestly shocked! So please keep them coming and I hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**Sorry for the wait, I have got a lot on my plate at the minute and have spent 90% of this week crying and arguing with people, and considering I don't cry a lot that is a lot for me.**

**So, I hope you'll stick with me, sorry for typos and grammar, and please enjoy! **

Harder to Shine

Chapter 2

When she wore up that next morning, the first thing she noticed was the dull ache resting in the base of her spine. Opening her eyes she blinked a few times in an attempt to try and disperse the momentary confusion as to where she was, before she realised that she had obviously once more fallen asleep in the spare room. The bed was hard, and she had no alarm. Sitting up she ran a hand through her tangled hair which had fallen out over the night and picked up her now power drained and dying phone. It was 0500 hours; thankfully her body clock was well in tune so she didn't oversleep. Letting a slight moan escape though her parted lips she got up, straightened the slightly creased bedding and walked into the en suite bathroom attached to the spare room.

They had a routine in the morning or more like she had a way of doing things. She'd get up half an hour before him, and by the time he was up she'd have his toast and coffee ready. Using the spare bathroom was his decision for her; after all she knew that the shower in their room was slightly noisy. Sometimes she wondered what had possessed her in the beginning to be a domesticated house wife in the mornings. Wondered what had made him think she would be, yet every time she thought about the beginning of their relationship the memories of who she was trying to forget flooded her mind. Memories of Paris, of Jethro and sitting out in a garden sharing lazy kisses, cool bear and jokes. Memories of the time when she had been happy, young and carefree, all of which she had had to banish from her mind because she was married, and he was with the Cornel.

Stepping under the searing hot spray she tried to forget about the silver haired fox and she lathered her hair in pearlised white shampoo and conditioner before washing herself down with the fruity body was. Ten minutes later she wrapped herself in the white fluffy towel that had been sat on the towel rack and then grabbed the matching smaller one to wrap around her hair. She then sat on the bed as she did every morning in the spare room. Towel dried her hair then gave it a quick blast with the hair drier on its lowest setting as not to wake Richard. When it was as close to dry as it could get with the breeze coming out of her hair drier she walked into their bedroom quietly.

This was the one place in the house he had not dictated how it should be decorated. She'd chosen a deep purple paper with lighter mauve swirls on it. The other walls were the same mauve colour, the furniture a white washed wood and the bed matching. There was also a purple suede chair in one corner. The room was meant to feel warm and personal to them, but now it just felt like something a stranger had designed. Silently, in bare feet she padded across the neural thick carpet to the walk in wardrobe. Closing her eyes she made herself think how lucky she was that she had a roof over her head, a good job and a husband, who despite his floors, took care of her. Whether it was the life she wanted or not, she was lucky. And with that thought in her mind she pulled out her outfit. On went the lace underwear, then the tight skinny leg black chino pants. On her top half she put on a navy blue silk blouse and then a pair of suede boots on top of her trousers. They had her signature heel and fitted like a glove.

Then she crossed to his side of the wardrobe, took out her husband's black suit, a white shirt and dark blue tie like he always wore. After swiftly brushing it down as usual, she placed on her watch and grabbed her makeup bag before making her way downstairs. Her husband was awake and in the shower as she exited the room.

After placing the coffee on the boil and putting two slices of toast in the toaster she applied her makeup: a few coats of mascara, grey eye shadow and a dark red lipstick. By the time she had finished and plugged her phone on charge, the coffee had boiled. Into two white china mugs she poured it, and added cream and two sugars to his, yet left hers black. She placed it on the table, took out his toast and added enough butter to cause a heart attack and jam to cause a sugar rush. By the time she had placed the plate on the table he had arrived and sat down. As she did every morning she downed the rest of her coffee and made a fresh one, placed it in a thermos and went to grab her files from the spare bed.

As she stood in the spare room and grabbed all of the now signed files she sat down on her bed and sighed. She really did not know how she was going to cope anymore. "Jennifer! Can you get my blackberry from beside my bed?" He shouted from the kitchen. She did not bother to respond to him, he was not even listening. Getting up she walked across the landing, grabbed his phone and her bag before walking down the stairs. After she'd placed it next to him and muttered something that was supposed to be 'thank you', the red head grabbed her bag over her shoulder and unplugged her phone.

"I'll see you tonight." She said, kissing his cheek.

"Will you? Or will you be sleeping on your office couch again; even when you are home you sleep in the spare room."

"Richard, I fell asleep whilst working. I am sorry okay?"

"Yeah." He said, not looking up from his toast. "Love you." But he said it with no emotion, no meaning, and Jenny could feel her heart breaking. He was the kind of man most people would adore from the outside, but in reality, he was the one that could make a good woman go mad.

"You too." She said, before walking out. Before she opened the door to leave she picked up his coat which had fallen on the floor. Out of the pocket fell a business cared. Jenny picked it up and saw the name on it. A woman's name. And on the corner lipstick. She turned it over and read:

_Usual place, usual time. All night if I get my way xx_

Jenny shoved it back in his pocket and left, slamming the door behind of her. Walking down the path to the town car which was waiting she fought back the urge to throw something. And as she sat down on the dark leather seats in the back and just stared. "Are you alright Director?" Stanley, he driver, asked. He turned around and she looked at him, nodding unable to find her words.

"Yeah." She finally managed to say. "Yes, just rosy, NCIS please Stanley." She said before hitting back against the seat and closing her eyes, letting the momentum of the moving car try to sooth her. It didn't work though; she didn't know why she was so upset. It was not like it was the first time that she had found out about his affairs, yet each time she tried to persuade herself that this one would be the last. That he'd be loyal to her, and each time she was let down.

By the time she was in the NCIS lift, she was fuming. After sitting in her town car stewing for a longer enough amount of time, she was fuming. So as she walked into the bullpen she stormed out. High heels moving swiftly and soundlessly along the carpet. No one had ever seen a woman in heels that high walk so fast. She held her head up high and no one would notice anyone apart from him. Jethro would know, as she walked through the building he'd notice. Yet now, all these years after she had left him she knew all too well that he would not say a word. So she walked alone, up the stairs and into her office. When she got there she chucked her bag on the sofa and sighed.

She could feel the tears fighting against the lids of her eyes as she closed them. Desperately trying to escape as her emotions boiled over. It had been months and months since she'd last found out about one of his affairs, and she was out of practice. And now she didn't know what to do, should she confront him? Or should she simply turn a blind eye as she usually did.

There was a delicate nock on her door and she turned to see her assistant stood there. "Director, I wanted to give you your schedule." Jenny smiled warmly at the younger woman.

"Thank you Cynthia." She said, but her head was firmly in her hands, and her eyes looked up.

"Are you alright Director?" She questioned, gently and not probing.

"I'm fine Cynthia." She responded, giving her a smile that was meant to be convincing yet that did nothing to help make her assistant believe her.

"If you're sure. . . Well you have a meeting with the SecNav later on via an MTAC feed, but other than that you have a free day." The younger woman said, passing her boss the piece of printed paper. She cast a glance over to the pile of files which sat neatly at the edge of the desk, signed and ready to be handed back to the agents. "Do you want me to hand the files back?"

"No, no Cynthia I should do it. Marrow always used to, at least once a month, he'd take the files around to the agents. He'd always to talk to us, ask us how things were, like an uncle I suppose." Jenny looked up as her assistant, who looked bewildered at the reflective side of her boss. Jenny internally shook herself, wondering what had gotten into her. She'd never tried to compare herself to past director, so why was she now? What had gotten into her? Jenny looked up and smiled. "Sorry, I'm tired Cynthia. You get back to work; I'll be around the agency, forward any calls to my cell."

"Yes director."

"Oh and Cynthia." Jenny said, before her assistant left the office. "If Richard calls then tell him I'm busy, I can't deal with him right now."

"Of course." They both smiled before the door was closed. Sighing Jenny walked into her bathroom, swiped on a new coat of lipstick, smoothed down her hair and gave a spray of perfume. Then she returned to her office and grabbed the pile of brown files before leaving.

She walked down the stairs, smiling and gracefully. Her mask was up, the worry hidden and the directors façade firmly in place. She smiled, and began to walk over to the teams in order of the files. She'd done this when she was new, when things had been simple. She still remembered about them, their wives names and children's hobbies. So she spoke to them, laughing and joking, enquiring and persuading them to take the two weeks off a year everyone was advised to take. She'd find out how they were, and she'd smile with them, delicately avoiding their return questions with a small smile and a flick of the hand.

After long hours of smiling she looked down at the few files left and saw they were all from the MCRT. So she slowly walked over, hoping that Jethro was not there, hoping that he was getting his signature coffee as he so frequently did. However it wasn't her day, there he saw, frowning as per usual. Jenny smiled and walked over, firstly to Tony's desk and handed it back to him. "I see your handwriting has still not improved Tony." she said light heartedly. He looked at her, laughing and smiling.

"However my 'chat up' lines are as good as ever." He said winking, whilst she raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Not that I would ever try them on you Madame Director."

"Of course not Tony." She said with a smile before walking over to Ziva. She handed her the sile with a smile and it was warmly returned. "Shalom Ziva."

"Shalom Jen, how are you?"

"I've been better Zi." But they spoke quietly so that no one else would heat them. "How are you?"

"I am well Jen, quite content."

"Good." She said smiling and walking over to McGee. She placed his on the desk and walked around to see his screen and saw that her was trying to write the latest chapter of his new 'Deep Six' book. "How is it going McGee?" She asked, he looked up, slightly embarrassed.

"Erm . . . writers block director?"

She looked down at him, smiling softly. "Well, I'd offer to help but I'm afraid years of writing case reports have dulled my brain slightly."

He chuckled softly. "I hope that doesn't happen to me! I don't think that my publisher would be too happy."

"Well." She began, before her eyes got cast to Ziva, who currently had her partner with a headlock. "You'll never be short of inspiration here." She said with a smile.

"Oi! You two, would you pack it in and get on with some work before you find yourself out of a job!" Gibbs shouted at them before they both scurried back behind their desks. She then walked over to his desk, smirking as she remembered times when she was the one getting told off, a long time ago before her brain had been dulled by her husband.

"I remember when it when it was me and Stan getting threatened with being fired." She said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, except back then you did as I said." She raised her eyebrow, not quite believing him.

"Only every now and again." She said before placing the file down on his desk. She had to fight against the butterflies in her stomach as she spoke to him. He seemed lighter today, like they were slipping back into how they had been before he had remembered about Shannon and Kelly. They'd been friends, slightly laughing with a flirtatious edge. But there it was, as though a barrier had been broken down between them. She looked away and began to walk towards the lift. Jenny needed to sort herself out, needed to talk to someone about what was going through her mind. But she needed to tell to someone who would not judge her, and there was only one person: Ducky.

As she went, she heard him run behind her to catch up. "Coffee?" He questioned with a smirk.

"No, thanks." She said with a small smile. "I need to go talk to Ducky." And with that she stepped in the lift, him close behind her.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Every things fine."

"Jenny . . ." He said, touching her left hand and pointing to her ring. "I've been married enough times to be able to spot the signs of when things aren't healthy Jen."

"Jethro-"

"Jenny, talk to me." The lift was slowing as he pressed the emergency stop switch and caused the stark silver box to darken as the emergency lighting kicked in.

"Agent Gibbs, unlike your past marriages, mine is perfectly fine. Therefore I would appreciate it if you kept out of my business." And with that she faced forward, removed herself from his grasp and flicked the emergency switch again, as the lift got filled with the warm yellow glow.

"Oh drop the Director act Jen!" He said exasperated.

The doors opened on the autopsy floor and she turned to look at him. "My job is not an act agent Gibbs." And with that she began to take the steps that lead her to walk away, whilst he stood still as the cold steel doors closed on her striding figure gradually becoming further and further out of reach. But what she didn't see as she went was his own hand colliding with the back of his head as he realised – not for the first time in the last week – that when it came to Jen, things were never as they seemed to be. However what he didn't see as the metal doors in the lift turned conference room slowly and silently closed was the way that she walked, all stiff and fiercely. The way her eyes momentarily slid shut as she fought against the tears that threatened so predominantly to fall freely.

When they had once been so close, being unable to talk was something neither one of them would ever some to terms with. But Jenny didn't want to admit that the flaws in her marriage were becoming more and more like gorges as the days went by. That it had gotten to the stage where it was easier to put up the pretences that came with being the director and fitted like a mask than it was to face the reality in front of her. For Gibbs it was easier to fall back into the well warn mould of the Special Agent when she slipped away than it was to face the fact that once upon a time, he hoped, that she had trusted him enough to tell him what was upsetting her. But things had changed, and whilst time must pass and is an essential part of life and moving forward, when it came to the silver haired fox and the red headed director – the changes that had come upon them over recent years could no longer be classed as changes for the better.

So, she walked away, and with a slow deep breath stepped into the cool and stark room that was autopsy. A place that had once turned her stomach and made her breakfast want to make a reappearance yet was now a place that she went in sought of comfort. The simple act of day to day life that greeted her came as a relief. Ducky was methodically performing an autopsy, whilst Mr Palmer stood next to him assisting his mentor almost without even being needed to ask whilst he listened attentively to the long and winding tale that the older man was telling. Jenny smiled as the old doctors eyes travelled across and met hers, but she knew that some part of her must have deceived her smile when the Scotsman asked his young apprentice to give them a moment. Jimmy's eyes cast over to Jenny and he smiled: "Of course Doctor" was his well mannered reply. As he left Jenny could not help but think to her that once day, when the time came the young man would follow in his master's footsteps and no doubt move smoothly into a replica not too different from his master.

Ducky walked over, he was wearing his pale blue scrubs and a thin blue plastic apron over the top. He removed the apron and matching gloves from his hands before putting on his white medical coat and gave her a warm and welcoming smile. "How can I help you director?" he asked, in his soft Scottish accent. She hated how after everything they had been through they'd now also slipped into a stiff formality. It seemed as though that was the way it was with everyone who had links to her past these days.

"I'm not here as the Director Ducky." She said with a smile, and the way his eyes widened made her think how long it had been since she had spoken to some of her old friends.

"Well then my dear, I think we need some tea don't we." He said with a smile, as he boiled the kettle and placed the tea leaves into the pot. They sat there quietly waiting for the squealing that alerted that the kettle had boiled. He then poured it in, left it a few moments, stirred and then poured it into the cups through a strainer. He then handed her the cup and she sat there holding it. "What can I do for you my dear?"

"I . . .I don't know ducky, it just seems as though everything is slipping away." She said and looked up at him.

"My dear, I'm afraid I am not a mind reader."

"My marriage Ducky. Richard, Jethro, it feels as though I'm holding so man hearts in my hands and trying so hard not to break them when the whole time I am living with a broken heart." She looked up at him.

"Well then my dear, it seems as though you need to look at year lift. Do you love Richard?"

"I . . .I think that I loved him once, in a way I did. Whether it was the way I was meant to love him I don't know."

"And Jethro?"

"He and I, we have such past Ducky. There is so much water under the bridge that I don't know if we'd ever be able to swim or just drown."

"MY dear he loves you, I know he does. Even with Cornel Mann now, I think that you two need to at least talk. I remember once upon a time before a line was crossed that you two were good friends."

"We were Ducky, he was best friend, the person who was always there for me."

"Well then, I think that you both need to regain your friendship. Now what about Richard."

"God, I don't know anymore duck, I really don't. It's just," She sighed gently. "I guess that he wants me to be this perfect senator's wife, wants me to be the hostess and the woman who stand by him. But I'm not, I'm a career woman."

"I'm sure he accepts that my dear."

"Then why is it that he has strings of affairs longer than his arm?"

"You're fed up Jennifer, and I think that now you need to decide whether you try to start afresh and have what you both want, and whether you accept that the best days are behind you and jump before you are pushed." She looked at him, the wise man.

"I don't want to end it without having a final shot Ducky, don't want to be one of those women who just give up. I've never given up."

"Then my dear, you have your solution." Taking the final sip from her china cup she looked up and duck, stood up and he did the same. She gently hugged him like a daughter does her father and then softly kissed his cheek.

"Thank you ducky."

"Anytime."

And with that she left, knowing exactly what the future was to hold and that now things were as they were it was time to try and mend her marriage and move on with her life. But it was also time to try and mend a friendship that was currently too close to being shattered into a million and one pieces. It was time to do both – before it became too late.

**Thank you, please leave me a review, and if I get a good response again I will continue.**

**_fashiongirl97**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – This is set during internal affairs, however I have not written the bulk of the episode as I did not feel like it required it. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for every single review, they really made me smile. Sorry this chapter is slightly shorter, but I didn't want to write the next day as that is a big one you've all been waiting for.**

**Massive shout out to my guest reviewer 'George' whose reviews were so sweat and lovely they really made a rubbish week a little better. And if you ever get an account then PM, cause you seem lovely **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Harder to Shine**

**Chapter 3**

In the weeks that followed Jenny's conversation with the wise Doctor, it would be wrong to say that nothing had changed. Whilst still she got frequently annoyed with her disloyal husband and his patronising ways, she tried. Jenny booked them a meal out every other Saturday, made sure that no matter how late it was that she finished work she actually went home. Jenny didn't moan when he had his business acquaintances over and she had to play the loyal wife who shared her husband's views. Something's didn't change, like her defiance to his hatred of her stilettos and red lipstick. Whilst she tried to do what was best, she could feel the bonds that had kept them together breaking. She noticed the little things that signified his affair become less hidden. For once he was not being careful. She'd found lipstick on his colour, a shade of pink that she didn't even need to check if she owned. The way his excuses with business men became looser by the day. Jenny could not help but wonder if what was going on with her husband for once was more than a bit on the side. She wondered if their marriage really was coming to an end.

That morning Jenny Shepard woke with a small smile on her face. It was a Monday morning and the previous night she had Richard had watched a film before they went to bed. Something small and simple, but something a married couple should do. Something so plain and ordinary yet in the mad lives that they lived it equalled something much more special. On that morning Jenny woke up feeling as though she really did have a chance of making this marriage work, even if she wasn't in love with him.

So she got up silently, went into the spare room to shower. She covered herself in strawberry shower gel and placed her face under the steaming hot spray, closing her eyes and letting the stream take away her fears. The, she got out the shower, wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel before drying her hair, curling her fringe over as she always did and then tied it up into half ponytail. She applied the makeup that had moved into the spare room before she walked into the bedroom.

Walking in the wardrobe she did her morning duty, got out his white shirt and ten thousand pound black tailored suit with a blue tie. Once they were hung up as preferred by the senator she grabbed a pair of skinny fit black trousers and a dark blue blouse with three quarter sleeves. Once she was dressed she found her favourite pair of Vivian Westwood black stilettos. Then, around her neck she wore the silver necklace Jethro had bought her, a simple chain which held a silver J in elaborate writing. She'd never told Richard it had been Jethro who had bought her it, instead had said a friend got it her - which was not a complete lie. Around her wrist she was a feminine silver watch and in her ears small studs. Once she was ready she made her way downstairs. With his toast in the toaster and her phone on charge she stood there drinking her first coffee of the morning, listening to the sound of her husband getting ready. When he emerged downstairs she smiled and walked over. She fived his colour and straightened the tie. Attempting to ignore the love bite on his neck that she knew she had not caused.

"I have to go." She said with a smile, kissed his cheek and left. When she got out of the kitchen she sighed, grabbing her long camel coat and her bag filled with signed files and left the house, smiling at Stanley as he stood there waiting for her. "Good morning." She said as she did most mornings. It looked as though her good mood had stayed in the house as she'd left.

"Good morning Director, would you like to stop for coffee this morning?" He asked as he always did when he could tell she was not in the best of moods.

"Best make it a bucket full." She mumbled as she slid into the town car.

The drive to the coffee shop she and Gibbs both used, and then to NCIS was silent. Her driver had learnt a long time ago that in a morning she usually had a lot on her mind and so talking was not usually something she did or was fond of being forced to do. Finally the black car pulled up at the front entrance of the building as she smiled and walked in, followed by two of her security detail. She passed through and got in the lift, the suited men leaving her there.

IT was silent as she walked along the catwalk to her office. Team Gibbs were in as usual, McGee backing up all of the case files for the last decade seeming as he had nothing to do – she noted her deserved a bonus for doing something that the IT techs who resigned in the building had been putting off since she first arrived. Tony was trying to help only to be told he was to touch nothing, Ziva was tapping away on her keyboard and Gibbs was looking bewildered as his probie tried to explain what it was that he was doing.

Smiling she looked at the team and felt a sense of pride, they were her agents, and no matter what she had put them through they still remained loyal for some reason or another. So as she walked past her assistant she smiled once more, hiding the home issues behind her director front. "Good morning Cynthia." She said with a smile.

"Good morning director, your schedule is clear today." She said beaming as she always did. Jenny wondered where in her life the younger woman found time to be so happy. She worked hours nearly as long as Jenny's and yet she never once looked tired or annoyed.

"Thank you Cynthia." She said before walking to her office. She hung her jacket up and emptied the papers on the corner of her desk to distribute later on it the desk. Sitting down she noticed the latest issue of stars and stripes on her desk, and for once decided that she would not just throw it in the bin. And she was glad she did as she read an article about Hollis Mann moving the Hawaii. Smiling Jenny decided that it must mean she and Jethro were over, making a note to say she was sorry when the time arose.

IT was a few minutes later that she heard the power go off, and her computer screen go dead, getting up she walked out of her office and looked down in time to see Tobias Fornelll walk in. McGee was cursing at the fact they might just have lost ten years of case files whilst Gibbs didn't look in the slightest bit bothered as he hit his computer screen. He looked up and saw his friend; Tobias Fornell stood there. "What going on Tobias?" He asked.

"NCIS is on lockdown, you're all under investigation." Said the FBI agent as Jenny walked down the stairs, head held high.

"What's going on Agent Fornell?" She asked.

"The body of Rene Benoit was found in the harbour this morning. You were after him Jenny; we believe someone in NCIS killed him." Jenny didn't even need to look at her former blue eyed partner to know he was glaring daggers into her. She was already well aware that he blamed her, and that her hopes of them being friends once more was something that had just been grabbed from her grasp.

* * *

Jenny had been right when she thought that Gibbs would suspect her, but she'd also been underestimating who else would be, it turned out that she had been the number one suspect of the FBI, that she'd had to hand in her gun and badge as the assistant Director suspected her too. So Jeanne Benoit had admitted to killing her own father they'd all been surprised. Thankfully for the red head though they'd all believed her meaning that Jenny had officially been cleared, but although she had not pulled the trigger she knew she was responsible, because if it weren't for her obsession and sending Tony undercover the poor girl would never have been driven to such extremes.

Now she sat in her office, looking down at the stars and stripes she had been so happy to read earlier. How things had changed, her house was trashed thanks to the FBI and their search warrant, her husband was no doubt going to be having a rant at her about what this could do to his image . . . She didn't care though, what hurt the most was that after three weeks of trying to repair what she had broken with Jethro, it had now been stripped from her. She'd lost him all over again because of the frog.

Standing up she was about to get her coat when he came marching in, not bothering to knock or request entry as per usual. He came in swinging he door open. "What can I do for you Jethro?" She asked, hoping to start once more trying to make bridges.

"Hear you're taking a few weeks off."

"I am." She said.

"What you going to do Jen?"

"There are things I need to deal with Jethro, and it seems our assistant director is more than happy to step in for a few weeks."

"The alphabet soups left?"

"The Jesters have been kicked out of the kingdom." She said, hoping to make him smile, instead he responded almost bitterly.

"Long live the queen." Was all he said before he left, leaving her to realise just how many steps they had taken backwards - from where they had been in their relationship just mere days before, to where they were now. Knowing that she would have to get the house sorted she put on her coat, grabbed her bag and left the office, not stopping to look down at the bull pen where she McGee would be working feverishly. But as she got in the lift she changed her mind, and when it arrived at the bull pen she left the cold metal box and walked over to the younger agent.

"How bad is it?" She asked. He looked up shocked before he began to talk tech talk to her. She laughed and he stopped. "I may not be as anti-technology as Gibbs is McGee, but I'm nowhere near as good as you."

"Sorry Director, I get a little carried away sometimes." He said.

"Its okay, is it repairable?"

"Yes, it is. It's going to take a few hours, but I think I should be able to get it all back."

"Well done McGee, make sure you get yourself some coffee." Jenny said, passing him a $10 note before she began to walk away.

"Director?" He said, making her stop.

"I knew you didn't do it, and thank you."

She smiled at the younger agent; he had a heart of gold. "Thank you Tim, and don't work too hard." With that she walked out of the bull pen and went back to her old task of getting home.

* * *

Walking through the front door she stopped to listen for any signs of life. Hearing nothing she decided her husband was probably with his mistress. So she took off her coat and hung it up before making her way into the office, pouring herself a glass of bourbon and deciding to embark upon the task in front of her. Downing the shot she began in the office; placing books onto the bookcases and files into draws. She listened to music as she went, signing along lastly as she did. Then she went to the hall, and that was where she was when he came in. His tie wonky and hair sticking up in places, she couldn't even bare to look at him as she placed the photographs into albums and back into the draws. "What the hell happened here?" he asked, his usual calm voice gone.

"What the hell happened to you? You look like someone dragged you through a bush backwards!"

"Yeah well your agencies investigation into you caused my image a few problems! Stressful is an under-statement!" She looked up at him.

"Oh and I suppose asking me how I am after MY integrity, after MY CAREER just got insulted would be too much!"

"What do you want me to say?! Well done for not killing a man?!" She looked at him shocked. All the other times when he had affairs he had been sharp tongued with her, but never had things got like this before. "So are you going to answer my question?!"

"The FBI got a search warrant for our house if you must know. They ransacked the place looking for my weapon!"

"And why would they need that?"

"Because they thought I'd killed him! For god's sakes Richard."

"What the hell have I done now? I know that I'm not your Jethro but at least I'm here Jennifer!"

"No, you're here because it's your house, not because you want to be." And with that he stood up and walked into the office. She rolled her eyes and finished off in the hall. She looked carefully at every picture as she placed them carefully away. Then she just looked at the floor, her fingers tracing the J on her necklace that hung around her neck. Remembering the moment he'd shown her it. How she'd lifted her hair and let him put it on for her. The way she'd smiled as he kissed her neck and she admired it. She missed those days, she missed him.

Standing up she walked into the office and looked at him texting on his phone. Walking over to the cabinet she got another glass of bourbon. "I don't know how you can drink that paint stripper." He stated, not looking up from his phone.

"It's an acquired taste." She said quoting the words that Jethro had used to describe it all of those years ago. She sat on the chair opposite him. "I've taken three weeks off work."

"What on earth are you going to do?" He asked sounding almost disgusted.

"I thought we could spend time together."

"I have work Jennifer; you know how busy I am."

Standing up she mumbled: "Sorry for thinking you'd want to spend time with your wife." Under her breath before she left the room. Walking up the stairs into the spare bedroom she picked up her phone. Almost automatically she found Jethro's number; her finger hovered over the call button. Then she remembered their last words to one another and she realised he'd not appreciate it. So instead she opened her texts and sent him a message:

_I'm sorry your team got involved, I swear on Abby's life it was not my finger pulling the trigger. J xx_

* * *

Across town in his basement he was steaming the last piece of wood to put on the frame when he heard his phone beep. Wishing he still lived in a time when people spoke to each other face to face, he was all set to ignore it before for some reason he didn't. Putting the wood down he walked over to the jar of screws his phone sat in and emptied them, picking it up. He opened the message and saw it was from Jenny. Confused he read the message before smiling, he believed her. IT took him five minutes but he managed to text her his reply:

_I know –J x_

He didn't know that those 11 characters made her smile through the tears as she lay there, in the spare bedroom for the first time since she'd spoken to Ducky, trying to block out the failings of her marriage as she begged for sleep.

* * *

**If i continue to get a good response then I'll continue,**

**_fashiongirl97**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine.**

**Authors note – I tried to reply to you all, and thank you, sorry to anyone who I didn't – life is still mad.**

**So, it's not as long again, but I promise I will really try with the next chapter, it's just I knew where I wanted this to end because it fitted well.**

**Anyway, thanks to you all again, thanks for the support, and enjoy **

It was the first day of her leave, and a day that Jenny would always remember. It would be a day that no matter what she did; she would never ever manage to forget. This was the day that a strong woman would finally be broken down to tears, which flaws would be revealed as canyons and cracks would finally break.

Richard had left for work earlier that morning, when she still laid there sleeping softly. His displeasure at her not rising had been obvious when he shouted 'goodbye' loud enough to wake the sleeping dead. She'd groaned, buried her head under her pillow and ignored him, before attempting to get back to sleep. Eleven o'clock had come by the time she emerged from her bed, showered and changed into a pair of skinny boot cut skinny jeans and a V-neck long sleeved t-shirt. When her blood was running with coffee and she felt suitably awake she checked her phone. She was surprised to find no emails and just a text message from Ducky saying they should meet for lunch whilst she had no commitments at the office.

Smiling at the old friend who had helped her out and stood by her even when she didn't deserve it over the years, she texted him aback saying she'd love to. Finally Jenny decided that she really didn't feel like leaving the house, so she went back up to her room, plugged in her IPod and let the soft beet of country music fill the room. Then the red head picked up her laptop – not looking at the e-mails or the news where she knew there'd be some political thing she was not supposed to understand as the great senators wife – and went directly to the schuh website.

Almost instinctively Jenny immediately went to the high heels section. It was her silent rebellion against her husband as he hated them, but a connection to her past. A link to Jethro who had loved the way her legs looked in heels, and then how when she took them off her head would rest against his chest and no higher. A small sigh escaped her lips as she thought about it. The way they had laughed, the way every morning she woke to his lips on hers. How he hugged her around the waist when she was tired and always looked at her as though she were the most beautiful thing in the world. Once more she sighed, wondering how she had ended up like this. She felt the tears threaten to fall; she knew in that instant what she wanted to do. Knew that given the chance she would walk out on her loveless marriage, knew that she justifiably could, yet wouldn't. For some reason she wouldn't jump, instead she was waiting to be pushed. Maybe it was because it was that she wanted to feel the way she had made Gibbs feel all those years ago, or maybe it was simply that she didn't want to be alone if he did what he had every right to do and turned her away with her tail firmly placed between her legs. .

Mentally, the red head shook her, telling her mind not to cross the invisible line over which there was no return, yet in truth she knew she had already walked over it. Looking at the screen in front of her she smirked and clicked on a pair of shoes: red suede stilettos with a platform and a 13cm heel. Jen couldn't help but think how much Richard would hate them. Seeing they were on sale and down to $45 she smiled, and pressed the 'add to basket' button before returning to her search. Secondly she clicked on a pair of black, 'red or dead' bardot suede stiletto heels. Jenny smiled, she like the strap around her ankle and loved the 14cm heel, smiling she added them to the basket too and proceeded to check out.

It wasn't often she bought new shoes, but when she did she always felt happy. So smiling she placed her laptop away before she spent any more money and decided to paint her nails. She was slightly at a loss as what to do if she was honest. Jenny Shepard had not taken time off officially since she had gone on her honeymoon. So, she decided that this must be what everyone did when they were on holiday.

The red head grabbed her nail file out of the bedside cabinet and set about carefully filing each one of her nails into neatly shaped half moons before she pushed back her cuticles and picked up her sixty second dry emerald green polish. Carefully she applied it to the bare nails, taking her time to give an even layer and not make a mess. By the time she had finished her second hand her first was finished sp she set about applying a top coat. Once it was on she lay back on her bed and listened to the soft music that filled the room, admiring the beet of the instruments and tones of the singer's rough and yet southing voice.

The day had gone smoothly up until that point and Jenny was beginning to think that three weeks would not be that bigger deal. Yet then she looked at the news, something she hadn't been able to resist any longer. And what she saw made her choke a sob.

"_Yet another senators bit on the side"_

"_Sleeping outside of the marital bed"_

"_Senator spotted"_

"_Yet another marriage pulled by the roots"_

She angrily slammed the laptop closed and quickly turned on the television to the news, hoping to god it was some sick prank. Yet then she saw it, pictures of her husband kissing some other woman, on a boat, in the sun and smiling. Jen's first thought was that she wasn't even that pretty! Blonde, curvy and she had a face that was nothing special. She looked as though she was in her twenties. 'Traded in for a younger model' was all that went through Jenny's mind. But not even a pretty woman, if she'd been some pretty top heavy woman she could understand, even an airhead would be considerable if she was pretty, but she wasn't, she was just so, ordinary.

"It's been a while since we had a senator's affair hit the news as big as this one, but here we are. Richard, the man who told us to forget his last name and think of him as a friend often took that slightly further recently as we see these pictures. Sleeping with his assistant seems all too cliché to say, but here it is true. Stacy Marshall, the Senators assistant for the past year, and his mistress for the last 6 months was taken on holidays paid for my tax payers' money. The Senator refused to comment as he was rushed from his office mere minutes ago by his PR assistant, presumably on his way to see his wife, Director Jennifer Shepard of NCIS known for her fiery temper has not be seen to comment…" The breezy and smiling brunette's works cut through her like a knife.

Part of her wanted to hide her head in the sand, pretend it meant nothing. But then something caught her eye as she looked at the footage of her husband leaving. She rewound it and looked at him, pausing it as she saw it again on his left hand. Richard was not wearing his wedding ring. She looked at it in disbelief and ran a hand through her hair. It had finally happened, he'd finally found someone who was more than just a bit on the side, he'd finally fallen for one of them.

Anger filled her as she walked into her wardrobe and grabbed the massive duffel bag she'd used for missions all those years ago. Upset and betrayed Jenny knew that she couldn't stay in that house any longer knowing what she knew. So into the bag went the already folded clothes. Jeans and skirts placed in, blouses and t-shirts, dresses and underwear. It had been a bag that would hold clothes for an inevitable amount of time. Now she threw in shoes: heels and flats, grabbed her make-up bag and toiletries, and a little jewellery. With the bag packed she looked down at her ring finger, the rings looked like they were alien to her, and so she pulled them off roughly, as though they were red hot and put them in her jewellery box, locking it.

On her dressing table sat the necklace Jethro had given her, and she put it on. Then, with her charger and laptop packed as well she went downstairs, dumping the bag at the bottom. Into the kitchen she walked barefoot, feeling as though she might be sick. With her fingers she brushed her red hair into a ponytail and sighed, grabbing a large glass of water and drinking it all in one go.

She heard the door open and he name be shouted, she dropped the glass, shards cutting her hand. Cursing under her bed she grabbed a bandage and wrapped it up, not wanting to get blood everywhere. As Richard walked through the door he saw the bags, and knew what would happen. He went through into the kitchen where he saw her. "You hurt?" He asked her, noticing the blood.

"Is it true?" She questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Why are your bags out there?" He asked, although he knew the answer as well.

"Is it?" she asked turning around and seeing his PR man behind. "For god's sakes Richard, the least you owe me is the truth!"

"I should go." Said his assistant.

"Don't bother; you probably know more than I do!" She said with a scold. "So is it true?"

"Yes." He answered, subdued.

"Does she mean something?"

"Jenny, don't be stupid." There was something about his voice that made her know he was lying, and yet it hurt way too much to admit the fact.

"Then why the hell were you not wearing your wedding ring?!" She shouted back, nearing hysterical now as all she wanted was the truth to spill from his lips so she could do whatever it was that was required of her in the situation and leave.

" I didn't-"

"Like hell you didn't realise! Tell me the god damn truth!" She shouted back.

"Jennifer I am so sorry."

"Do you love her?" she asked bluntly.

"I don't know. I didn't want to, you have to believe me I didn't want to."

"Sometimes it just happens? Right?" She asked bitterly before trying to leave. She walked out of the kitchen and into the hall.

"Jennifer, please. We need to talk about how we are going to handle this." Said the PR man, she didn't even know his name and nor did she want to at that moment.

"How we will hand this? Well I plan on walking out of this house, that's how I plan on handling this."

"But the news won't accept that. We need to do a press release. I want you by his side."

"You don't have to say anything Jennifer, and then you can do whatever you want." Said Richard.

"That's rich; you make it sound as though I should be flaming honoured!" With that she ran up the stairs to their room. As she entered she slammed the door like a teenager just told off. Using all the restraint she had not to kick the wall she grabbed a pair of white leisure shoes and put them on, pulled her tan leather bomber jacket out of the wardrobe and picked up her big aviator sunglasses in a hope that the press would not notice her. Then she looked in the mirror and sighed, a thought sprang to her mind. From the bedside cabinet she pulled out the locket that Ducky had given her for her birthday years ago, the one which held a picture of her and Jethro kissing. Holding the cold metal to her lips she momentarily closed her eyes, before placing it in her pocket and opening the door before she walked down the stairs.

"Jennifer, where are you going!?" He asked her, and she cringed visibly.

"Anywhere but here." She stated coldly as she picked up the pre-packed duffel back and began to walk toward the back door, the knowledge the press would be camped out in the front putting her off.

"Will you do the press meeting?" He asked her, and she looked gobsmacked.

"You have no shame!" She said, before walking towards the back door.

"Jennifer, please."

"I will not see you before it, and afterwards I will make the choice of what we will do." She said to her husband bitterly. "Email me the details." She then walked towards the back door and out of the house that was filled with now bad memories of a loveless marriage.

The red head walked through the garden, went through the gate at the bottom and on to the back street, putting her sunglasses on she began walking. She had nowhere in mind for the moment, but knew where she wanted to go. Quickly she checked to make sure her passport was still in the bag where she kept it and was relieved to see it there.

Head held high, and the wind blowing through her hair she walked down the streets of DC. The sunglasses tinted the bright light an orangey colour. It was over, her marriage was over, and although it had never been perfect, yet she had never expected this. A tear ran down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily.

Pulling out her phone she clicked on her loyal assistant's number with hope. "Hello, Cynthia it's Jenny. Look I know I'm not your boss at the moment but I need you to book me a one way flight down to Rhode Island."

"_Of course Jenny, is there anything else?"_

"Yeah, can you tell Maria I'll be staying in the beech house for a few weeks?"

"_Yes Director, is everything alright?"_

"Watch the new Cynthia, because it is all true." She said it gently, and then hung up. A few minutes later the flight details arrived on her phone and so, she got in a cab and headed to Dulles international airport. It was time to take a break, and decided what exactly it was she was going to do now.

**If the good response continues, I'll update again soon! Thanks **

**_fashiongirl97**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – I hope that you all enjoy this. Thank you so very much for all of the support I am blown away. Sorry for the delay, I have a new phone and it is very distracting!**

**Hope that it is okay, and please excuse the spelling and grammar. **

**Harder to Shine**

**Chapter 5**

As Jenny Shepard sat on the black canvas seat in the back of the yellow taxi cab on her way to the airport, she finally processed what had happened. Finally she realised that she had just walked out on her husband, that in the space of under an hour she had discovered that the affair he had been having way a lot more than a bit on the side, that it had been leaked to the news and that her marriage was literally over. Now she sat there staring at the flight details on her phone. In that moment, as she looked past all the anger, hurt and anguish, she realised that what she felt most strongly was a strange sense of guilt.

Over the years the red head had read too many gossip columns to not know what they would be saying. Because whilst the minority will be saying how the right woman would leave him, the rest would be talking about how it was her fault. The press, tabloids and gossip columns would say how the affair was brought on by her not satisfying her husband. They would talk about how it was her, the career headed woman, who had driven him to the lengths he took. But whilst most women would not believe them in her situation, she did. Jenny couldn't hello but think that they were right, that it was her fault after all. Because she knew how her job as director had affected their marriage, since she had been promoted the strain it had brought.

But every time Jenny thought to blame her job, the memories f her predecessor filled her mind, memories of how he'd managed to be the powerful and successful director he had been before he moved on, whilst still being a loving husband the whole time. Yet she had barely managed to keep her head above the water whilst her marriage drowned. Sure she was a woman, yet that should not make any difference, even if she did know that it did.

Sitting there, with her bag beside her she looked out of the window as the city passed her by. When she had walked out, she had no idea what so ever where it was that she would go. She'd walked out with nothing more than a bag filled with clothes, and yet . . . the only man on her mind would have been Jethro. She'd wondered if she'd have been faced with a situation at some point in their relationship when one of them had walked out, yet she would never know. She'd never know because she had decided to jump before she was pushed.

When the cab pulled up at Jules she sighed, got out of the car and passed the driver $40. Walking into the clean metal interior of the airport she felt like she could blend into the background. With her sunglasses on her face she walked towards the check in desk. So many people walked din and out of this airport that no one seemed to notice, she could be whoever she wanted.

She slid her passport across the desk along with her phone o show the booking ticket. She quickly slid her sunglasses off of her nose to let the petite brown haired girl who stood there see her face before she replaced them. The girl nodded as she realised why it was that the woman wanted to hide her face, and Jenny decided that not all people in the world were naïve enough to believe what they were told. After been given a tag around the strap Jenny made her way through to security. Being the director of NCIS she got to skip the queue and walked straight through, being allowed to keep her gun as she did so.

The flight only took around 50 minutes by the time they had set off. But it was long enough, detached from the world as she sat in the plush first class seat for Jenny to realise just how much she needed to change her life. Looking in the mirror every morning she saw how thin she was, how the face looked hallow and drawn. She saw how pale she was, and Jenny a woman who had never had massive natural confidence in her appearance had even less these days. Over the past year no matter how hard she tried she had begun to feel her friends gradually slipping away. She'd seen Ducky a person who once she knew would stand by her become unimpressed by her actions. Despite recent attempts she had felt Jethro slip through her fingers. Meanwhile Stan who had been like a brother and will the annoying cousin, both of them seemed as though they were a million miles away. Two men who she had worked with ad seen as family and now only lived a few hours away, a yet they barely ever spoke. Jenny was tired of the way things were, and in that fifty minutes she made a vow, that once she had dealt with her marriage – whatever that may involve doing – she would try to get her own life on track.

As the green seatbelt sign flashed up on the cream leather above her, she braced herself for landing. It never mattered the amount of times she flew on a military aircraft nor in the luxury of first class, because landing always scared her. She closed her eyes, but felt eyes from across the aisle still on her, just like they had been for entirety of the flight. Turning she looked at him, almost waiting. A dark haired man, grey hairs showing his aging, dressed in a suit with a slim mac book in white on his knee. Seeing her look at him he turned away. Jenny smirked to herself, Jethro would be proud of her. That was the only thought going through her mind.

It was half an hour later she finally escaped the hell that was security and exited into the cool breeze outside. The sun was beginning to set, and a cool breeze filled the area. Now knowing where the news of her marriage had spread to Jenny slid her sunglasses on and went over to a taxi cab. Sliding in the back she told the man at the wheel the familiar address and set off.

Rhode Island held a beach house her family had bought back in the sixties'. One that had been left to her by her father years ago. She remembered coming here with her family, for long a summer weekends when they'd light a campfire on the beach and roast marshmallows. Days when she sit there reading a book in the shade and dreaming of her life when she was older. How her life was different now, back then she had been so innocent and naïve. Jenny had dreamt of being a mother, having a family and bringing her own children down to play on the beach. All those dreams before the reality of the evil world that surrounded her had sunk in.

Jenny watched at the picturesque and beautiful countryside passed her by. Watched the bright green grass and rolling hills. When she saw the sea, a sense of relief filled her. Because, whilst there may be bittersweet memories of her father at the beach house, there were no memories of Richard. They'd never been down here; in fact she was not even sure he knew she owned it. So, now as she finally pulled up she admired the beauty. The house was sat back from the sea. It was on the bank which then slid down onto a shingle beach which met the crystal blue sea.

The house was white and wooden, the iconic beech style house. There was a deck that looked out over the sea, covered to protect it from the rain that fell. Seats sat there and it was exactly as she remembered, a sense of comfort filled her. So she grabbed her bag and pulled out her set f keys. He stood there for a moment as she looked up at the place; the shutters painted blue were firmly shut. A small smile fell upon her face as she walked through the door. When she'd closed it behind her she put the heating on. Walking into the kitchen she looked through the cabinets and saw that they were empty, yet there in the fridge on a white china plate stood a bacon, chicken, and lettuce and tomato sandwich with mayonnaise.

Maria had been their housekeeper down in Rhode Island when she was a little girl, and every time she had come down she'd always wanted that exact sandwich. It had become a sort of ritual. Smiling Jenny took the plate and carried it out onto the deck. She sat down on the bench where the cushions sat in the summer. She sat the plate on her knee and took a bite before watching the sun set. Jenny didn't want to think about the last time she had had a proper meal, usually she had a yogurt at most in the morning, dinner was forgotten about and tea was when she remembered.

The sun was setting, and the breeze brushed past her sending her ponytail backwards. As she finished she closed her eyes and then made her way inside before going up to bed. Where she lay silently, staring at the blank screen of her phone, wondering if the silver haired ex marine whom till caused her so much guilt had seen the news. Waiting for a message or a call, or anything from him that would rid her stomach of the uneasy feeling that settled there.

Morning came and went in DC, Jethro and the team were busy out in the field at the crime scene of a burglary. It turned out that criminals had taken a break for the moment, leaving them with only petit crimes. Jethro worked almost mechanically, it was an open and shut case, and by mid afternoon all the paperwork was on Jenny's desk. But it wasn't Jenny's desk, at least not for the next three weeks. She was taking time off, something Jethro knew that she needed, and yet NCIS didn't feel the same. For the last three years he'd seen here every day stood there on that catwalk, with her bright red hair and long legs.

Walking into the bull pen mid afternoon with a cup of his signature coffee, from the shop he remembered showing Jenny back after she had first killed a man, was in his hand. He saw the television on, ZNN News as per usual. It had been broken, but it looked as though it had only taken half an hour of McGee's time to get it fixed. Jethro sat down at his desk and thumped the keyboard on his desktop computer to get it to come alive. Back when Jen had been a probie, computers had been one per team, and theirs had sat firmly on her desk. He remembered her and Stan arguing over how to work it, but her red hair and logs legs had gotten it on her desk.

Recently, he realised that he'd been thinking about those days more and more often. Days when the team had been different, yet the jokes and antics remained exactly the same. Days when things seemed to be so much easier. Too many times tough those memories spiralled out into memories of Marseille, of undercover and just what they'd done back then. Gibbs looked over now to where Tony and Ziva were arguing, just like Jenny had been back in the old days, Ziva fought and gave as good as she got.

Jethro looked over at McGee who was typing away, no doubt working away with Abby. Then his eyes caught onto the TV. He saw a picture of a man he knew and the word scandal. No doubt another affair, he thought, but something made him continue to look. Jethro recognised that man. It only took a few moments for him to realise that it was Jenny's husband. Fear and dread mixed with rage and anger filled him from head to foot. "McGee put the sound on the TV." The younger agent looked up at his boss, searing for the remote control.

"Liking the look of the gossip column boss?" Questioned Tony with a smirk. But Ziva looked at the TV and knew exactly what it was that Gibbs had seen. The silver haired man did not even need to ask her to head slap Tony, it came as second nature. Jethro and Ziva both stood up and began to walk over.

"Now McGee!" Said Gibbs wanting to know exactly what was going on there and then. Every moment that past made Jethro want to leave the navy yard and punch the senator in his face. Finally the volume came on and Gibbs glared at the perky woman sat behind the news desk.

"_Yesterday the story broke that yet another respected senator had been cheating on his wife. Photo's were leaked to the press yesterday and as of yet we have been unable to receive a statement from the senator, or his wife Jennifer Shepard who is the director of the federal agency NCIS. It is believe that she was not aware of the affair and has left DC. I for one am ready for one of the women to slap their husbands around the face and leave…" _

Jethro glared at the screen and began to walk out of the bull pen. "Gibbs!" Shouted Ziva as she ran after him. Jenny had been her best friend back in Cairo, and whilst in recent years they had drifted apart, she still cared for her. "Where are you going?" She asked as she caught up with him.

"To find out what the hell is going on!"

"Gibbs, Jenny is my friend too." Ziva looked at him almost scared. She thought of Jenny as a mixture between a sister and a mother depending on the situation. "Calm down and don't go mad at her. It might be a mistake."

"I'm not gonna stand by-" He spoke quietly so that other agents didn't hear their exchange.

"I don't expect you to. Just promise me you will ring her before you go in like a bull in a glass shop."

"It's china shop." He said before walking off and Ziva rolled her eyes with a sigh. As Jethro left he could not believe that he had not found out about the affair until now. A sense of dread filled him, he felt as though he had let her down in some way. As though he hadn't been there for her when she needed him, and yet all the time he was in a coma she had sat by his bedside.

He left NCIS and went into his car. HE sat there, staring out onto the side of the street where a couple walked hand in hand through the park. Still he missed Shannon. She was the woman who he had first fallen for, who had written to him when he was in the corps, and who had given birth to his child. And yet these days when he saw couples were walking hand in hand it was not Shannon he felt a pang of guilt for, it was Jenny. Shannon had died nearly two decades ago, and although it hurt o admit it, he'd moved on. Always would he love her and always would he think of her, but now it was Jenny he wished for a life with. Firstly because there was a chance, but secondly because he still loved her and in all honestly he always had.

Looking at his phone in his hand he strolled down to her number and pressed the green button, holding the device that he detested ninety percent of the time to his ear. He listened to the ringing of the phone and waited to hear her voice.

Across the country Jenny was sat on the beach, listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the pebbles. She closed her eyes and sighed. Dressed only in leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt she could feel the breeze passing through the small holes in the material. She heard the quiet ring of her phone, but the red head ignored it at first. Then she cast her eyes down on the second set of ringing. Half tempted just to end the call. Then she saw Jethro's name on the screen. It was strange to her how a smile slowly spread across her face.

Picking it up off of the pebble where it had been resting she put the phone to her ear. "Hello Gibbs." She said, closing her eyes ad wishing things were different. She listened to the way he almost let out a breath of relief.

"Jen, you okay?" He asked, his voice hoarse with raw emotion that so few people ever heard.

"You know?"

"Yeah, I heard it on the news. Is it true?"

She sighed, running a hand through her hair and sighing. Still, even though he was the one person she knew that she could open up to she felt the urge to say no. To deny it all and try to cover up the cracks. Yet it had given her a blow, it had winded her and left her with just brutal honesty. Standing up she was silent, walking down to the sea where she let it lap at her feet. Freezing cold water making her take a deep breath and face the truth.

"jenny?" He questioned again.

"Yeah Jethro, it's true."

"Are you okay Jenny?" He asked, resting his head in his hand, wishing he could wrap his arms around her. After all of his failed marriages, he knew just what it was like to find out that the person you were married to has been having an affair. Even when he hadn't loved them he still knew the guilt that came with it.

"I'm fine." She said, still hiding behind a mask.

"Now tell me the honest answer."

"You always could read me like a book." She said as she looked out to sea with a small smile on her face.

"Your white eye twitches when you lie."

"You can't see my face."

"No, but I can tell." He said with a smile, sighing as he leant back against the seat in his car.

"Let me guess, your infamous gut?" She said, a smile slightly ghosting over her face.

"You never did trust it."

"No, but I always trusted you." She said with a smile.

Gibbs looked over to the other side of the road opposite the park and watched as the door of the building opened and the senator walked out. Knowing she wouldn't want it but not caring in the slightest he decided he needed to teach that piece of rubbish a lesson. "I've gotta go Jen."

"Case?"

"Sorta."

"Always a mystery Jethro." And with that she smiled and hung up, letting him get back to whatever it was he was about to go and do. Jenny sighed and looked over at the sea, picking up a stone with her free hand and chucking it into the waves. She sighed, and decided the considering her house was empty of food she should go and get some. Taking one last deep breath she made her way inside. Meanwhile her mind remained firmly on the silver haired fox that had captivated her mind for the past decade.

**Please review xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – I still have no muse, and this is really hard to write at the moment so I am sorry if it completely and utterly sucks!**

**Anyways, enjoy as much as possible, and please be kind and review at the end! Xx**

**Harder to shine**

**Chapter 6**

He got out of the car and slammed the door behind of him. The loud sound seemed to be lost in the moment as he walked across the road, not bothering to look, heavy footed yet silently. Not making a sound apart from his deep breathing with blended in with the sound of the wind. Considering the story of the affair had only just hit the new, Jethro was surprised to see there were no reporters here. Yet he came to the conclusion that the senator had paid them off to go away as in that moment blowing up the whole city was not below him.

Jethro walked past all the men, slapped his hand onto the shoulder of senator. Beneath his fingers he felt the soft material of his multiple figure suit. "We need to talk." He spoke in a low voice. He spoke quietly, his hand rested firmly. Richard went stiff as he was forced inside, the whole scene looking no more than two old friends seeing each other.

Jethro guided him inside, whilst Richard tried to figure out who this man was and what he wanted. It was only once they had entered the glossy marble interior of the building. There were floor to ceiling tiles and elaborate decoration that he realised. Gibbs removed his hand and glared at him, the signature Gibbs glare. "You're agent Gibbs correct? He stated bluntly, confidently and all too smugly for Gibbs' liking. The silver haired man did not reply, instead he placed his forearm against the man's neck and pushed him against the wall. He gasped, hands instantly flying to his neck. Yet whilst the former marine held the strength to kill the other man, he wouldn't. Instead Jethro only applied enough pressure to startle the other man.

"W…What do you want? Money?" He asked, coughing. "I can give you money."

"I don't want your money." He said, placing his head near to the man's ear. "You ever, ever, hurt her again and I swear to god I will break your scrawny little neck. From now on you treat her like she is the flaming queen, and agree with her. Because she is a hell of a better woman than either of us are men." Gibbs felt the squirming senator nod. "Don't think I won't hurt you if you give me even the smallest of reasons to." Gibbs added a thrust of his arm, causing the senator to lose his breath, to emphasis his point. Then, with a smug smile he removed his arm, tapped the other man's shoulder and walked out of the building. When he got in his car a few moments later Richard still hadn't emerged and the silver haired fox didn't wait to see if he would. That piece of worthless junk could rot in hell as far as Gibbs cared.

Down in Rhode Island Jenny was in the supermarket, piling food into a trolley. She'd decided that considering she had so much free time on her hands recently she would by all of her ingredients and make what she wanted from scratch. So she walked down the long isles of the supermarket. Jenny remembered that back when she had been younger it had only ever been a small mini market where they'd go and buy tubs of ice cream on the long hot summer's days. Now it had been developed and expanded.

She sighed, thinking of how things had once been so different. She threw a packet of dried yeast into her trolley and carried on when she heard some over perky woman shouting her name. "Jenny Shepard?" Groaning the red head turned around and looked at the woman. She was of average height and had obviously dyed blonde hair, brown at the roots and grey hairs spouting. She was wearing a brown tartan skirt, cardigan and inch high boots. She looked like a mother was all that Jenny thought when she looked at the other woman. "Oh my god! It is her as well!" she said as she walked over, beaming smile tattooed onto her face. All of a sudden Jenny felt self conscious, she was in a pair of boot cut jeans which hugged her ass too much for this meeting, and a long sleeved, scoop neck t-shirt with brown heels. It didn't matter how upset she was, she always wore her heels, yet for once she'd forgone the makeup, and let her naturally wavy hair pile up on her head in a lose and messy bun.

Yet the worst part of this meeting was not how self conscious Jenny felt, but instead it was the fact she had not the faintest of ideas that the hell the woman was. After near enough two decades of continuously meeting new people, her brain had forgotten all of those who were of no importance.

"It's Louise, Louise Jarman." Said the blonde with a massive smile on her face, Jenny wondered if she got jaw ache from that thing. Yet was still confused she could not place that face. "We used play in the park back when we were both little."

Then it clicked, she'd lived in the area and gone to the local school. "Sure, I remember you now. Sorry, it's been so long." Said Jenny, smiling sweetly as tried not to offend.

"I know, hasn't it just? It's so good to see an old friend around here these days, where have you been it seems like forever!"

"I still live up in DC, I spent a few years travelling around the place but I'm back up there now." Jenny was seriously getting bored with this, she hated small talk with people she could actually be bothered to see, and she detested it with nosey people from her past.

"So what brings you down to our little petty town? Showing the old place to your children?" She asked her smile still there and annoying the red head increasingly.

"I don't have any children; I needed to just clear my head alone for a while."

"Oh, husband?"

"Yeah, he's busy with work at the moment." She lied effortlessly.

"And what do you do?"

"Nothing much, you?" The red head brushed the question off.

"Oh I'm just a mum. My husband is a dentist at the local practice."

"Oh lovely. Anyway, I really must go, I have some work to be doing. No rest for the wicked and all." She said with a smile as she tried to leave.

"Oh well it was lovely seeing you and all. Hopefully I'll see you around?"

"Hopefully." Jenny said, cringing as she walked away and down off towards an area of the supermarket that she hoped she would not see anyone she knew in.

Once more the red head walked down isle after ally until she had everything she could ever need. She then proceeded to checkout and return home. The stupid thing was that the red head had not even the slightest clue of how to bake. In her life there had always been someone to make the food for her. Now she was on her own and didn't have a clue. "How hard can it be?" She asker herself as she grabbed her laptop and googled 'easy cake recipe'. Twenty minutes later, the kitchen was covered in flour yet the mixture was in the oven – even if she was sure there was half an egg shell in it as well. She laughed to herself as she looked around the kitchen. It had been fun so she washed her hands and sat down at her computer, looking for other recipes. She was pretty sure that she would be able to manage something a little harder.

This time she looked out of the window and smiled, there was a fruit part not five minutes away that her mother had planted years ago. She checked the time and saw that she still had ten minutes until the cake was due out so she walked down to the tree where there were early strawberries. So she picked all the ones that she could find and then walked back.

She ran into the house dropped the berries on the table and grabbed the oven gloves and pulled out the golden cake. She put it down and smiled. "Yey!" She said, laughing as she began to wash up the dishes, smiling as she went.

Jenny spent the rest of her day baking. She made an apple and strawberry cake, and then she made a carrot cake. The sun had long since set and Jenny had cooked herself some pasta, the first meal she had cooked in a long time. Hearing her phone ring from where she was sat at the kitchen table reading the latest write up on a new book, she looked over to where the phone was lighting up and saw Jethro's name.

"Twice in one day I am a lucky girl." Laughed Jenny. She smiled to herself as she cut herself a slice of apple and strawberry cake and walked out onto the deck. She sat on the swing seat, she'd put the cover on so it was a lot more comfortable. Taking a bite of the cake she listened to his heavy breathing.

"I'm the lucky one." He said as he sat in his basement, looking at the half build boat. He sighed, not quite knowing what to say to Jenny.

"What are you trying to say Jethro?" She asked, laughing.

"Hell I don't know Jen." He cursed, running a hand through his hair. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, I did baking!" She said, smirking to herself.

"You set fire to kitchen?"

"No!" she stated, mock offended.

"Where are you Jenny?"

"Rhode Island." She stated. "My father left me a beach house in his will, I'm staying there."

"You want any company?"

"No, not yet. Maybe in a week or so you could come for a weekend? Bu for now, I need to get my head together, but I think I need to do it on my own."

"I get it. I saw Richard today." He said, holding the phone a little further from his ear as he awaited the screaming match which was to come.

"Jesus Christ Jethro!" She laughed to herself though. "What did you say to him?" She asked.

"Nothing much."

"Is he still alive?"

"He wouldn't be, but I know he's still your husband despite everything. So he's still alive."

"You gonna tell me what you said?"

"That he is to give you whatever you want."

She sighed, wishing he was still there. "Jethro, you know I said I wanted to be alone right now?"

He leant back against the cold brick wall. Jethro could hear the hurt that was woven through her voice and wished that he could hold her in his arms and comfort her, tell her all of the things that she needed to hear and provide comfort that could not be given over the phone. It was times like this when one of them was upset that he realised just how far apart they had drifted in recent years. He thought about how once upon a time she would not have run away to a beach house alone but instead would have run to him and sight comfort in him instead.

Things had changed, and it was not for the better. Both of them were alone now, and he knew what she was going through. After all three of his divorces he knew all the emotions that she would be feeling, knew that right now she would be blaming herself and thinking that she was the one who had done wrong when in fact she was innocent.

"Yeah, you only said it a few moments ago Jen, you losing you memory?"

"No Jethro, I am not going senile. I was wrong, I miss seeing you, and I miss the days when we were . . . friends. I miss the days when you trusted me."

"I still do Jenny."

"Not enough for you not to second guess me when they thought I killed the frog. But I don't blame you, not in the slightest."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, you never did." She said with a smile as she watched the sea come further in. "Will you come down this weekend? I know you are not on rota, please?"

"Of course I will, you only have to ask Jenny."

"Thank you, it means a lot."

They stayed like that talking until the sun had long since set. And it helped them both. Helped him forget about the weight of the case pressing down on him and the problems in her marriage pressing down on her. And like the old friends they were, in a way like they'd once been daily, they laughed and joked and made the other see sense.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer – NCIs is note mine**

**Authors note – sorry I have not replied to your amazing reviews, I usually do that in my free elssons but being on holiday I have not had chance to get around to it as I have too much revision to be doing. Anyway, thanks to you all, you're amazing! I really mean that so thank you.**

**Sorry for the delay, I've been a bit stuck but I hope that you like this.**

**Also please go and read 'Obviously Perhaps' that I took over from left my heart in Paris. The next chapter has been sent off to her and should be up soon. It's on her profile and she set the whole thing out, it's a great story line which I take no credit for.**

**Anyway, here it is, the one you all wanted. So enjoy . . . **

**Harder to Shine**

**Chapter 7**

The week passed Jethro by in almost a blur. The case came and went and by Friday afternoon there was nothing for them to be working on except cold case files which everyone seemed to completely 'forget' about. The team had the weekend off so they were all in good spirits as the end of the day drew nearer, Tim and Abby were chatting away by messenger whilst Tony and Ziva were discussing which bar they would be going to that night. Every time they had a weekend where they were not on call, Tim, Abby, Tony and Ziva would go out for drinks at a bar on the Friday night. The thing that amused Jethro was that every single time Tony would start a discussion with one of the others as to which bar they should go to. Yet each time they would end up at the same little place just outside of the Navy yard. From time to time Gibbs and Ducky would join them, but they all knew how Gibbs was a lone wolf, so no one got offended when he didn't go.

Tonight was one of the nights he would not be going. He had booked himself a flight down to Rhode Island and was going to spend the weekend with Jenny. He didn't know what to expect. But what he had promised himself was that the thing he would not do was force anything on her. Her marriage had only just broken down and he knew that she was not the kind of woman who would jump into anything. Gibbs knew that he'd be in the spare room, especially when he had heard the regret in her voice. HE knew she felt guilty about what had happened, whilst most women would instantly drop their husbands, something told him Jenny wouldn't.

Looking at his watch he saw that it was half five. "Go home, have a good weekend." HE said as he placed his glasses onto his nose and carried on looking at the file in front of him. There was a chorus of 'bye boss' before they left. Usually on a Friday Gibbs would stay at work for hours and hours before he left. Tonight though, things were different. HE stood up, put on his Jacket and pulled out his bag from under the desk. It was time to go and see Jenny, so with bag in hand he left the building and headed off to the airport.

For Jenny the week seemed to have dragged. Every other hour she had had Richard or his PR man ringing her. Every time she had ignored them, sick and tired of them both and their lies. Jenny's kitchen was filled to the brim with baking, some of it was not the best, but other parts had worked out well. The spare room had been cleaned and had fresh bedding on it for Jethro. IT was not that she didn't trust him enough to sleep in the same bed, but it was simply that she was still married and Jenny was not sure that she fully trusted herself.

So with the house ready and dressed in a pair of boyfriend cut jeans and a white three quarter sleeved t-shirt with a scoop neck she was ready for her guest. There was a smile on her make-up free face. She knew that Jethro was not like Richard in the way that he was not obsessive over her appearance. He liked her for who she was, not whether she had her fringe up or down. Hearing the buzz of her phone alerting her with an e-mail she picked it up and sat down on the sofa. When she saw it was from Richard she nearly put the phone back down, but then she decided to open it and see what he had to say for himself.

_You're annoyed and you have every right to be._

_The press conference is on Monday at 2pm outside of the white house._

_Please be there, and wear one of the dresses I bought you._

_-Richard _

"Jerk!" She said and chucked the phone across the ground and onto the wooden floor. She really didn't care what happened to it. She lay back on the sofa and groaned. She didn't know why it was her that felt responsible for this whole mess. She had done nothing wrong, yet it was her that ran away, not him. She walked over to her IPod dock and flicked through the songs, so much of it was stuff she had because Richard liked it and not because she did. Decided she was sick of the life she had she picked it up and grabbed the cable, plugged it into her laptop and downloaded a truck load of new music. Things she had liked when she had been a child, a teenager. The things she had danced to with Jethro in Paris, and then she found her wedding song. The song that she and Richard had danced to. She sat there, curser hovering over the play button. "How did I end up like this?" She said to herself. She moved to delete it, but something stopped her. Maybe it was the realisation that she once must have felt something for the man or that he was still her husband.

She didn't delete it, not because she didn't want to but because it didn't feel right to. No matter what had happened she had still married him, he was still a part of her past life. So she left it and synced all the new music. Once it was done she pulled it out and put the computer to sleep. When she plugged it in and gentle beet of 'Five for fighting' started to play through the room she smiled.

With the patio door open she watched at the place of the sun in the sky moved, as it went from high in the sky to nearer and nearer the line of the horizon. A nock at the door made her smile, and she almost had to stop herself from running over. Subconsciously she ran a hand through her hair and opened the door to see Jethro stood there. She smiled and opened the door wider. Once he had stepped inside she smiled. "Hey." He said in his usual gruff voice.

"Hey." She replied. "Thank you, for coming down."

"What are friends for?" He stated. That made her smile, that after all the water they had passed under the bridge between them, e would still call her a friend, and he would still trust her enough to stand by her.

"Come here." He said, with a small smile. She walked over and he hugged her. Jen instantly relaxed as she became wrapped in his embrace. His arms were strong and his body warm and comforting. He softly placed a kiss on her forehead and it made Jen smile. She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. She realised then how she had locked herself away for the world this last week when in fact she had needed to be hugged. Letting her emotions get the better of her for a moment with the one person she knew she could trust she let slow and silent tears fall from her eyes. Jen didn't try to disguise them when he pulled away and looked down at her. With his callused thumb he wiped the away from her. "Hey, you will get through this, and I'm here beside of you, no matter what. Understand?"

She just nodded and let him place another kiss on her forehead, wishing so much that she wasn't an honest woman so could capture those lips with her own once again. Wishing that she could kiss him with all the love she had buried deep down and tried not to let surface for the past decade. "So, where is all of this food I've been hearing about?" He asked with a smile. "Or did it burn down?" He asked, she laughed for what felt like the first time in weeks and playfully slapped him on the shoulder.

"I'll get something heated up; you go put your stuff away. You're in the spare room, second door on the left." She said, yet he watched as she was about to say something.

"The spare room is fine Jenny. You're married, and I would never disrespect that, not unless you wanted to?" He winked at her so she knew he was joking. Then he picked up his bag and went up the stair. Smiling still Jenny walked into the kitchen where she heated up two bowls of homemade soup and buttered two bread rolls she had baked earlier, warming them through too. Walking out onto the deck she placed the bottle of bourbon and two glasses onto the table along with two soup spoons. Momentarily she debated lighting a candle but decided that would make this like a date – which it was not.

She walked back into the kitchen and pulled out the food just as he came down the stairs. "Out of a can does not count Jenny!" He said as he took the two bowls and she took the bread.

"I'll have you know that I made this from scratch, and the bread."

"Yeah right." He said as he sat down.

"Fine then, don't believe me!" She replied. She looked at him in the dusk, the sound of the music still audible from the deck. He'd changed into jeans and a red hoodie. _Why do I still want to kiss him? I'm still married! _She asked herself. But it was true. She still had strong feelings for the man who was sat beside her, yet it was her marriage that in that moment stood between them, and even if it didn't she knew she'd hurt him too much to ever get him to trust her enough to take things past being friends again.

Jethro sat there; both of them quiet, and took the moment to look at the woman beside of him. She was thinner than she had been years ago when they'd been together. Yet he saw that the bags under her eyes and grown less noticeable over the past week. She sat free of makeup and he was not sure if he could see a rosiness on her cheeks that had not been there previously. Right then, sat on a deck by the see as dusk approached he couldn't stop himself from thinking that she had never looked more beautiful that she did then.

She put her bowl down after him. He listened to the music change until it was a slow song that he recognised came on. As the first few bars of Jon McLauglin's Beautiful Disaster filled the air he stood up and held out his hand. "What are you doing?" She asked him with a signature smirk on her face.

"Dance with me?" HE asked her.

"Are you serious?"

"Come one Jen." She stood up with a smile on her face and he placed his arms around her waist with hers on his shoulders. Jethro's version of dancing was just swaying to the music, but it worked for them and it made her smile. She rested her head against his chest and sighed. Both got lost in the music, listening as one song changed to another. But under the setting sun, wrapped in the others embrace they were happy and secure.

"Is it my fault?" She asked, still not looking up at him.

"No." Was all his replied. He had been in her position, been the one who got cheated on. But he'd never had to deal what the media knowing, never had to even contemplate how he would cope if the whole world seemed to have known before he did.

"Why'd he do it then?"

Jethro wanted to say it was because he wasn't smart enough to know what he had, or because he was a worthless piece of junk that didn't deserve to be alive. But he kept his mouth shut. Because in all honesty he didn't know, the man was still her husband and he was there as he guest. So he answered the only honest answer he truly could. "I don't know Jen, I honestly don't know." She looked up at him, with eyes showing just how much this had gotten her down.

"Should I divorce him?" She asked. Jenny knew she would not mention he press conference, it was something she needed to do for her, but something Jethro would not understand.

"I can't tell ya that Jen. You have to decide." She sighed and looked down.

"I know." She smiled a sad smile. "Why didn't I marry you Jethro? I'd never had had to deal with this."

"Because you are your own person Jen, you deserve better than me."

She leant up and kissed his cheek. "You, Leroy Jethro Gibb, are the best man I know." She smiled, took the plates inside and then returned to the door. "Good night Gibbs."

He turned to look at her. "Night Jen." With that she walked up the stair and head off up to bed. He walked down the beach and looked out to sea. He picked up a pebble and skimmed it across the water. He'd wanted to take her into his arms right there and then, kiss her until night had long fallen and day had risen. But he didn't. He'd spoken honestly when he said she deserved better than him, because in his mind she did. Jenny deserved better than Richard, better than him, better than any man he knew. But now he worried one thing. He worried that after all of this she'd never let herself fall in love again. HE worried that she would blame herself and that so she'd never give her heart away. That she'd never move on, never be happy.

With one last pebble he watched as the orange sky reflected into the water, and sighed, before making his way up the beach to his room. Hoping he could be the person Jenny needed who ever that may be.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – sorry it is only short, I wanted to write this scene in but I didn't want it to link in with the next part. So, this is just a filler chapter.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, they are amazing and please keep your incredible reviews coming. **

**Also, I have a new Tiva one shot up called 'take a chance' so please read and review that. **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

The next morning Jenny woke feeling lighter, feeling as though even though there was a world resting upon her shoulders and threatening to crash down on top of her and bury her, there may be light at the end of the tunnel. That morning she woke feeling less lonely, the knowledge that someone slept in a room down the hall, a person who she cared for and who she was beginning to believe cared for her as well. The early morning, pale, sunbeams splintered through the blinds awakening Jenny from a light and gentle sleep. She smiled as he eyes flickered open, and decided that she felt like doing something good for her health. So, she slipped out of the covers and stood up, bare feet against the coldness of the wooden flooring. Subconsciously she hissed at the shock before walking into the bathroom and getting washed.

Moments later she returned to her room, and pulled on a pair of sports leggings and a pink vest top. Walking over to the window she opened the blind and felt almost lighter for the sight of the sea sprawling out in front of her. White horses came crashing in again the rounded grains of sand and shingle that was splayed out over the miles of shoreline. Whilst gazing out at the reflective surface of sea, she ran a brush through the blazing red locks of curling hair before restraining them in a ponytail high on her head. With that taken care of she grabbed her old and worn running trainers, laced them up and then silently as possible made her way down the stairs.

Once in the bright kitchen she poured herself a large glass of water. Just as she brought the clear cut glass to her lips she heard the mumbles and groans of a freshly awaken Mr. Gibbs. She smirked as she looked over to see him, running a hand over his face. Jen laughed at his misplaced hair which was arranged haphazardly. She smiled as he looked towards her. "Where you off?" he questioned, noticing she was ready to go out.

"I'm off for a run along the beach." She said, watching over the rim of her glass as she took a gulp of water and he raised an eyebrow.

"You're on vacation and you are running?"

"When have you and I ever done what anyone else would do on holiday?" She responded laughing. "You want to join me? It's nice out."

He groaned. "The things I do for you woman." Grumbled Gibbs as he went back upstairs to change into something he could run in.

"Should I take that as a yes?" she shouted up the stairs before she downed the rest of her water and walked out onto to deck. That was where Jethro found her five minutes later. He had on a pair of NCIS joggers and a white t-shirt. HE was all set to speak until he saw she was stretching, so instead he paused for a moment to admire the view in front of him. "I know you're stood there Jethro." He heard her say as she straightened up. Jen turned around to look at him and just laughed at the innocent expression on his face.

"You ready Madame Director?"

"The question is can you keep up with me?" She asked him with an evil smirk.

"So says the woman who had been sat in a big chair for the last three years whilst I've been working."

"Well then old man, catch me if you can!" She said, laughing as she sprinted off, down the steps and across the beach. Smirking he set off as well, once more staying slightly behind her for a few moments. Admiring her ass; even if he knew that it was a highly unprofessional thing to be doing. But then he sprinted to join her when she slowed down.

Her ponytail was swaying and her trainers leaving footprints in the sand as she went. Her cheeks were already pink from the sea air, yet Jethro admired her stride, the precision accuracy of the steps and her rhythmical breathing which he knew only Ziva could have taught her. "You never could pace yourself!" HE stated as he looked at her, watching as realisation hit her and she laughed, her arms still swaying s she went along.

"I think you need to remember Postianto Jethro."

"Hey!" He said whilst chuckling, both flashing back to a time which in some ways was so much happier. When things had been simple and there had been nothing stopping them from crossing the invisible line in the sand whenever they wanted to.

Steadily both ran, keeping in time with one another and watching as the beach houses spaced out along the coast passed them down. Jenny tried to recall the owners of all o them, but then realised that it had now been so long since she was last here that the owners she had known had most likely sold the houses now, or died and so passing them on to children – like Jenny – who had other things to concern their time with. Once upon a time, of a summer time the beach would be filled with families. There would be barbeques spaced out along the beach which from above would show the edge of the shoreline. Children would run into the sea, then come back and be covered with fluffy towels before they roasted marshmallows over the orange flames.

For a moment Jenny lost herself in memories, thinking of the time when things had been so easy. The time when she had been a child with her whole life ahead of her yet wanting nothing more than to grow up. It's strange how when we are young we want nothing more than to grow up and be older. To live our own lives and face the tough waters ahead. And yet when that time comes, when we have our own lives and the freedom, it's never quite what we imagined. The freedom is limited and the jobs time consuming.

"You alright?" He asked her, looking at the way her eyes were glazed over and concerned after the week she had had to deal with.

"Yeah." She said with a small smile on her face as she went back to reality. "Race you to the pier?" She asked as she pointed to the old wooden pier which stuck out into the sea. The end had been worn away and now there were only a few meters left which stood over the sea. Gibbs nodded and ran off, Jenny chasing behind him, so both were head to head. Jenny focussed on her stride and forgot about the memories that had been filling her mind and pulling her down.

When they reached the pier both were red faced and heavy breathing. "Who won?" She asked as her breathing begins to calm down.

"Draw." He answered and she nodded, before walking across the pier to the edge where she sat down. After taking her shoes off she dangled her feet in the water and looked put to sea, watching as a speed boat bounced across he waves off in the distance. A few moments later she watched as Jethro came and sat back down beside of her. She sighed and looked down. "What's up Jen?" He asked with a sigh, looking at the woman next to him.

"I . . . I don't know what to do Jethro. I don't know where I stand and don't know." She grumbled and rested her chin in her hands. "How did this get such a mess? All I ever wanted was a guy to love me back. And I think I loved him, maybe not in the way I was meant to, but I loved him in one way or another."

"You deserve to be happy Jenny, you always have."

"I guess wanting the perfect marriage was pointless when I had let the perfect man walk away years ago." She said looking out to sea once more.

"You deserve better than him Jenny, you deserve better than both of us."

"That's a lie." She said, as she leant across and rested her head on his shoulder. He ran a hand through her hair and let his chin rest on her head. Both closed their eyes and relished in the moment, glad that they were both together.

After half an hour or so both of them got back up and ran back to the beach house. This time at a faster pace so that their chests were heaving and burning by the time they had returned. After showering and changing they spent the day relaxing. They walked into town and went for a coffee at the local coffee shop. It was small with pine wood tables and chairs. Coffee served in a white mug, with cream as an optional. Both turned it down though, black coffee was their coffee, the thing he had passed onto her.

They then walked around the small town, the little houses with flowered boarders and cut grass. They didn't hold hands, but walked closer that just friends. Jenny showed him the park she had played in when she was a child, the green where she vaguely remembered watching a cricket match once upon a time. Jethro walked with her, looking and the pretty village and letting her just relive the memories she held close to her heart. Jethro never probed or poked where he was not wanted, he just let her think on her own, she knew that he was there if she wanted to share.

That was how they spent the rest of the weekend. Together, and quietly just liking the feeling of for once not being alone. She never motioned the fact that she was going to be standing next to her husband at the press meeting the following week. She knew he'd be annoyed, and yet still she wanted to do it, still she wanted to do it. In some way it still felt like her duty. They ate well, and Jethro helped her cook the recipes she had found on the internet.

At evening both of them would sit on the deck, eat and drink the bourbon they had picked up from the shop. Then when Sunday evening came and Jethro had to go to the airport and back to DC. She hugged him, thanked him for standing by her and not judging when her walls fell. Then, when he had gone, she curled up on the sofa, with a pen and pad and set about writing what she was to say for the conference, before her heavy eyes closed and she fell into the world of slumber. The words she would speak tomorrow still filling her mind with wonders of 'what if' and 'if only' merging in with her dreams of what could be.

**Please review **

**_fashiongirl97**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – Thanks for all of the reviews, I have been busy this week so sorry for the delay. It's a bit longer so I hope that that makes up for it. Anyway, enjoy! **

**Harder to Shine**

**Chapter 9**

She stood in one of the downstairs bathrooms in the white house where she had gone to freshen up before the conference. Pale marble covered the floors, walls and ceilings. It was posh, and like on many of the occasions she had been at the white house before the beauty of the interior always astounded her. The way in which everything matched even down to the precision detail, whilst having an air of sophistication. Press conferences where always held outside of the white house, the president however was out of the country on business meaning that there was just skeleton staff maintaining the upkeep of the house.

The mirror was edgeless glass and set back into the tiles. Her hands were clasp tightly around the edge of the sink making her knuckles go white with pressure; she was in the same building as the cheating piece of scum who she was married to. All she felt was anger, anger at him for what he had done, and yet more anger at towards herself for actually agreeing to do the press conference in front of the whole world. She'd written so many speeches of what she could say when the moment came when she would walk up to that podium. So many pages lay ink labelled with her pointless excuses for him back at the beach house. Words with so little meaning, words which she knew she would allow to cascade from her lips and yet not mean a single syllable.

Looking up in the mirror she studied her reflection. Her face was coated in makeup, something she did not want to be wearing, something that in the last week she had come to hate. Her long red hair was in natural curls and tied up in a bun on the back of her head. Once more her fringe had been pulled back so her face looked harsh. Her eyes were layered with mascara, something she didn't mind, but her face was coated in foundation, she felt heavy, and as though she was being pulled down. Her lips were coated in red lipstick, her mark of the fact she was still not owned by her husband.

She wore a royal blue dress, one that Richard had bought her- just as he had requested . . . or was that more like ordered? The neckline square cut, cap sleeves, and a hemline that fell just below her knees. One her feet were black stilettos, her second symbol of rebellion. Something, which yet again, he had never managed to change - not even on their wedding day. Now as she looked in the mirror, looked at the string of pears around her neck that he had bought her for the first press conference she had had to attend by his side, with matching pearl earrings, she realised in that moment just how much she hated them. How much she despised the way in which they made her look like some old lady who was desperately trying to remain glamorous when I reality that was decades behind of her. She sighed and looked away, she wanted to go, wanted to run away as far as she could and not look back on him.

There was a knock on the door, and she knew what it meant, it was the signal that she needed to be going. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and said: "Coming." With another deep breath, she flexed her hands in a hope to get rid of the shakes. Standing up straight, with her head held high she walked out of the bathroom, smile firmly drawn upon her lips and an air of confidence that showed everyone that there was no getting past her. Outside of the door stood that PR guy who had been there on the night when she had found out about the affair, whose name she still did not recall.

"Do you realise what harm your disappearance has done to his career?" He asked her, Jenny just smiled too sweetly and looked at the man. She fluttered her eyelashes and mustered up the most sweat and innocent voice she could and laced with the bitterness she could not disguise if she tried.

"Darling, his career is the least of my concerns." She said before walking off to the large group of people who were clustered together gossiping not far away. Then she saw him, his face clean shaven, but there were marks where she could see he had nicked his skin. His shirt looked as though it was straight out of a packet, so much so that it still had the folding creases in it. His tie was askew, and his eyes wandered the room. He caught sight of her and she realised that this was it and there was no backing out now. So, she did what she knew she had to and walked over, the smile still firmly on her face.

There was a chorus of hellos and she responded as she was expected to do so. "Jennifer." He said, looking at her, her hatred for the way he spoke her name was never stronger. "I don't know what to say." He admitted, raising his eyebrows to emphasis the point.

"Then don't say anything at all." Was all she said before turning in the direction of the rest of the group and smiled at each one of them. "Are we ready to go?"

"Here." Richard stated plainly, before he passed her the ugly monstrosity which was labelled as her wedding ring. Her eyes cast down to his left finger and noticed his ring places there, but it sat lower, allowing her to see that the tan line which should have been so strong was now weaker meaning he had not been wearing it for quite a while. She took it – albeit be reluctantly – and slid it on her finger and then looked expectantly at him, as though he should be saying something else. But his face was plain once more, and just as usual he wore that same solemn and blank expression it always did. "Right then, here we go." He said and the group walked off, he held out his hand, expecting her to take a hold of it.

"Really?" She asked, hoping and praying to god he was joking. The only other things she was thinking was the fact that when the pictures reached the news and papers that Jethro would see, he'd see and he would be even more angry at her than he already would be when he found out she was here. The fact that they were slowly regaining what they had lost was too precious to tempt the fate of losing it all over again.

"Just for the sake of appearances." He said once more, his voice grating on her increasingly by every word filled moment that passed.

"Rot in hell!" She cursed as she looked at the out held hand with complete and utter disgust. "I'm only here because I am still your wife, and for some screwed up reason I feel as though I am the one who is responsible for what happened. I feel like it is my fault. Yet I have not forgiven you yet, and nor will I be doing straight away. So don't push your god damn luck or I will walk straight out of here and never look back!"

He looked shell shocked, she'd never stood up to him like that before, and the fact that she just had took him back. She began to walk away, him beside of her, both absolutely bricking it for completely different reasons. As they stood there, the door opening, they were greeted by the loud sound of reporters screaming in the hope of getting a quote, and cameras flashed as pictures were taken. Her fake smile was plastered on her face as she walked out with her husband. He walked up to the podium. It was tall and wooden with the US white house symbol engraved into the wood. He stood there silent for a moment before he started his speech. But Jenny did not listen, instead with a smaller smile on her face she listened to her husband, talk and whiter on about how sorry he was.

Jen looked out at the sea of people in front of her. The way each one thought that they knew the complete story and yet Jenny knew for certain that they would only know a small segment of it and even a smaller part of that would actually be the truth. She watched them fall silent and write furiously what her husband said, the words she doubted he had even written himself. Words she knew for certain were a bundle of utter fakery.

She looked up at her husband, and listened for the last few words of his speech. "What I did was wrong, I betrayed my wife, but I did not betray the trust of the United States of America." She heard a round of applause, and watched him step down; taking a deep breath she took his place.

And slowly, she looked out and summoning the director's façade that slipped on like a well worn glove she began. "What my husband has done is an act of adultery, and mistrust on his behalf and mine. He went behind my back, and did an act that was in the eyes of some is unforgivable. He took the trust I had for him and broke it. Yet that is a fact that will be dealt with behind closed doors.

"My husband made a massive mistake for which we will now have to pick up the pieces of. Yet that act is a reflection on the trust between him and me, not upon the trust of him and the states. I will punish my husband if I chose to, yet that punishment should not be dictated by, or issued by the United States of America. His mistake was a personal one, which has no bearing on his professional capacity.

"This country is built on second chances, a place where those who succeed can fall and then rise back up again. Richard and I will deal with our marriage away from the public eye. I ask of you now not to take this mistake and make him pay for it for the rest of his life – that is my job." She said with a smirk, and watched some of the crowd smile slightly. "What the senator did was personal; do not let that dictate your opinion of him in his professional capacity. Thank you."

She stepped down, watched as the commotion continued to unravel. As that same PR guy stood up and told the press there would be no further comment. As the shouts and screams once more erupted and reporters attempted once more to get that one off comment. She stood there, next to her husband and yet never looking at him. Head held high she waited until the security bustled the couple back inside to the safety of the white house entrance room.

She walked in there, absorbed once more by the marble. When the door had closed and the noise subsided she sighed, walked to the wall. Jen leant her back against it, rested her head on the cool of the marble and closed her eyes. She heard the sound of Richard walking over, yet she did not bother to say anything to him. "I did not expect such a speech." He said, looking at her as her eyes slid open to reveal the emerald green orbs behind of them.

"You never did expect much from me." She said with a sigh, as she remembered all of the times he had belittled her for her job, for her life.

"Jennifer, can we please not argue?" He almost pleaded, sounding even more pathetic than ever.

"Oh for god's sake!"

"And what was all of that about you punishing me?" He asked, his face looked drawn and older than she remembered. Jenny silently wondered about their future in that moment. How – if they didn't end it now – things would plan out in the years to come. Just where it was that they would end up at, and whether or not they really would be as happy as they had once imagined themselves to be.

"It's called getting the press on your side." She said, glaring at him. "What you forget or maybe don't know is that I deal with the press every day, I cover things up or wrap them up. All your speeches I rewrite and print off. You never had a clue about what I did for you – never!"

"You rewrote my speeches."

"And not once did you notice." She stated, whilst she laughed bitterly at the memories and shook her head knowingly. Sometimes, even after the last few weeks, she really couldn't believe him. The read head stood up straight, and with her head held high, and the director's emotionless façade fully up she turned away, and left. Her heels making their iconic clip-clop noise as she went.

"Jennifer, where are you going?" He asked her, looking after her like a little child whose naivety is yet to be snatched away. She spun around on her heel, the light from the window making her hair look like a blaze of fire, her eyes look like clean cut emerald and her skin like fine china, and as she smirked everyone but him saw her true beauty.

"Away from here, Richard. But more so: away from you."She said a smirk fading and a bitter smile falling over her face before she turned once more and walked away, grabbing her coat from where it was, and pulling her bag over her shoulder. Then confidently she snapped the constraining hair band to release the fiery red locks, before pulling her fringe down and dropping the incriminating objects on the floor. With that she hailed a cab and travelled over to the old house. Once there, she looked up at the place and felt nothing, no regret, no misery, nothing. The memoires seemed to have already faded. She sighed, and walked over to the black sedan which was the car she used from the agency. Jen pulled out the keys from her handbag and unlocked the car. With the memories of the day being pushed from her mind, she turned the key in the ignition, pulled out the big sunglasses from the glove box, tuned the radio into a country station and drove down to Rhode Island, trying to think of what it was she needed to do next, and how she was going to deal with Jethro when he no doubt found out.

Later that day, as the majority of NCIS began to leave the building in their dribs and drabs, Gibbs and his team sat at their desks writing up their case reports for that day. They had once more been out for the majority day chasing leads and risking their lives on the line of duty. Thankfully today nobody had come back any worse for wear which was not only a good sign for their health but also it meant there were no incident reports to write up. Gibbs had finished his report which now sat in its brown cover on the corner of his desk. Now he had his starbucks blend coffee in hand and was surveying his team. Ziva was writing away and mumbling to herself in Hebrew whilst Tony sat there with his chin resting on his palm and tapping his pen. Gibbs watched as McGee finished proof reading his report and put his pen down. His file went to the corner of his desk and with nothing else to do he turned to the TV and put the news on.

The other two did not notice however McGee did do; Gibbs' eyes glanced over to the TV. There was no volume on it, but when he saw Jenny's picture pop up he stood up and walked over. McGee took it as a clue to turn the volume up and watched once more, just like when the affair had come out Gibbs' body became tense with rage.

". . . It looks like even when the wife is the Director of NCIS there are some things a Senators wife will still do. Today at a press conference to defend his innocence, Jenny Shepard stood by her husband as he claimed he had done nothing wrong. But not even the sarcastic comments could hide the obvious tension between the two. Yet still she did her job, stating that what her husband did was a 'personal mistake' and that the United States of America should not let that 'dictate' his capability of his work in his 'professional capacity'. But the question on everyone's lips is whether the director will give her husband the second chance; which she claims this country is built on, or whether she will be one of the few who leave them in the dust. This is . . ."

He was furious; he honestly could not believe that after everything she had said over the weekend that she would then go and stand by the man who had made her so upset. The man who had cheated on her, shamelessly and then not even had the decency to tell her before it all hit the news. Gibbs didn't know what had made her do it, whether she had felt like it was her responsibility or whether she had been forced to do it. But whatever the reason was he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to ask her face to face why. So almost without thinking about it he went behind his desk, grabbed his coat and badge before walking out of the bullpen, coffee still in hand and not saying a word to his team. Yet after the years they had all worked with their former marine boss, every single one of them knew that they were safer off if they kept their mouths shut than they were if they started questioning where and especially why he was leaving.

Gibbs near enough ran out of NCIS headquarters, got in his car and began driving down to Rhode Island. He didn't bother with the airport, and instead made his way by car, breaking every speed limit and rode law as he went. The whole journey he thought about Jen, how annoyed he was with her. Yet he also was slightly proud, because it showed how she was the bigger person, she was the one who would face him and come out better in the end. But h still wished she had told, wished he had been there for her enough so that she could tell him what was going on behind those bright green eyes. `

Jenny was sat out on the deck, in leggings and a baggy NCIS hoodie. The sky was black, with stars dotted around, the sea was crashing in and once more soft music played out into the sea air. There was a slight cool breeze that was crisper than other nights. She had her bare feet up on the chair and her arms wrapped around her knees. On the table there was an empty mug which had contained coffee. After arriving back home earlier she had showered and removed all her makeup. Her hair was now loose and in its natural curls. She felt more like herself, and decided that even when she returned to work in a couple of weeks, that she would not wear as much makeup any more. She listened to the waves and let herself get lost in the sound.

What she loved about this house was that even now, centuries after the place had been built and her family had bought it, still there was no road noise. She looked out at sea and smiled, even at night the white horses that came crashing in were still visible. Jen got so immersed in her thought that she didn't hear the sound of a car coming down the driveway, and in fact was not aware of their presence until there was a loud knock at the door. A confused red head walked barefooted towards the door, the cold wood cool underneath the base of her feet.

When she opened the door she was surprised to see Jethro stood there. In his black pants, suit jacket, red polo shirt and white undershirt. "Jethro?" She said, still not understanding why he had turned up out of the blue and yet knowing at the back f the mind he had seen the news. He looked stiff and angry as he laid eyes on her. Yet even the annoyance that he was feeling in that moment was not able to cloud his vision enough for him to forget how beautiful she looked.

"Can I come in?" He questioned as he ran a hand through his hair just as he had done a hundred times over on the way down from DC. Jenny didn't say anything; she just opened the door wider before closing it once he was inside. He stood awkwardly, just as she did as she leant against the wooden door.

"You saw the news." IT wasn't a question, she could see how tense he was, and the look of anger in his eyes. A look that he would not have unless he had seen it as she did not think that she or anyone else had done anything which would make him that annoyed.

"Why the hell did you do it Jen?!" He stated, glaring daggers into her. The infamous glare that would make probie agents shrivel and run.

"Don't give me that glare Jethro! I am not your probie anymore." She said standing up straight. "And I did it because what you may well have forgotten is that I am still his wife!"

"That didn't seem to bother him whilst he was screwing whatever her face!" HE shouted back at her. Their eyes had darkened now with anger, it was a long time since they had fought like this. Once upon a time ago he would wind her up so he could watch her get all fired up simply because he thought she looked attractive. Now thought their arguments usually revolved around something a little less trivial.

"Don't you think that I know that!?" She shouted back at him. "Don't you think that every night when I fall asleep that is all I think about? I mean don't you think that that every time I look in the mirror I think it was me that caused it? All the 'what if's' and 'had I's' that fill my mind make me think about it!"

"I'm not saying you don't think about it Jen. I just don't see why the hell you are loyal to him!"

"Because if I am not loyal then what the hell else am I? I'm just the woman who stood by and didn't say anything or the hundred other women! That is what I am. So if I am loyal then hell, at least I am not as bad as him!"

"Well maybe that was what caused it Jenny. You tried to give him something you weren't tried to pretend that you were someone else. You go and stand by him and it makes him look like he is innocent when everyone knows full well he is not!" Jethro was ranting on and on, something she had never thought that she would see. Jenny wanted to shut him up, but there was only one way she knew. Even though she knew if she did it she didn't know where things would lead she found herself looking at his lips. In that moment she didn't hear what the hell he was saying, instead she simply walked towards him and kissed him. Let her lips go crashing down on his; he was still for a moment before he responded. He pulled her closer and him hand went in her hair, bunching it up as his tongue explored the long forgotten territory. The kiss was serious and passionate. Soon their hands were roaming; his jacket was disguarded on the floor when they broke for air he pulled her hoodie off so she was left in her vest top and leggings. Still kissing they made their way to the coach. He knees hit the back and she fell onto it, him still attacking her lips. But when air became needed he moved to her exposed neck.

Although it felt so good to have his familiar weight and warm mouth in that moment she realised they had to stop. "Jethro." She said, trying to find her voice. "Jethro stop." She stated, and like a true gentleman it only took that one word for him to stop and look t her. He looked deep in her eyes with concern, asking hr what was wrong. "I can't do this, not yet." He just nodded, although he was disappointed he respected her too much to be hurt. So he got off of her and sat up, she did the same and sat next to him, resting her head on his chest. "I'm sorry, it's just. . . "She sighed, and decided it was Gibbs, the man she trusted. "If I do this without telling him I want a divorce or anything then it makes me as bad as he is." She looked up at him, hoping to go he would understand.

"I get it Jen, I do." He said as he kissed her forehead.

She sighed and let the soft music once more fall over her, loving the sound of his heart beat beneath his chest. "I'm going to ask him for a divorce." She said, smiling. "I . . . I think I'm going to drive up the day after tomorrow, I'll see him and tell him it's over."

"Good, good Jenny, you deserve better than him." She smiled and looked up at him.

"You?" She asked raising an eyebrow. He stammered and she just laughed at him before he realised that she was joking and laughed along with her. Their smiles could light up the room, big and bright, but most of all real. She looked at him and kissed him on the lips softly. "I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight Jethro." She said standing up with a yawn.

"I should be going anyway." He said standing up and watching as she grabbed her hoodie.

"No, stay, in the spare room. It's late." She said, he just nodded, deciding that it was probably a better idea. He watched as she went up the stairs to bed. He them smiled to himself, and closed his eyes. Kissing Jenny had felt too damn good to be allowed. But then again it always had, he just hoped to god that there was a chance that she would have enough confidence left after this whole ordeal to give them a chance.

With her gone he walked around the house, collected the mug from out on the deck and locked all the doors before closing the curtains and turning off the lights. He then grabbed his jacket and walked up the stairs to where the spare room was. A few moments later in his undershirt and boxers he slipped between the covers and lay awake thinking of the beautiful red head down the hall.

In her room she lay there, turns so she could gaze out of her window and look out at the stars. There was an uneasy feeling in her stomach and all she wanted was to see Jethro. She looked out and at the stars and remembered the wish she had made earlier that evening when the first star had come out.

"_I wish I could make it work with Jethro, I wish, I wish, I wish."_

Then she slipped from the covers, dressed in short pyjama shorts and a thin vest top she began tip toeing across the cold wooden floors. As she exited her room she went to the room she knew Jethro would be in, it was not closed, as she had expected just as his front door never was. She looked in and whispered. "Are you awake?"

There was a rustle, and he ran his hand over his face. "No." He said softly as he looked to see her in the moonlight.

Jenny smiled and walked over and slipped into the other side of the bed. Jenny wanted to curl up with him but didn't have the nerve. However she'd initiated the kiss, so he had the nerve this time. He reached over and slid her light body across to him. She smiled, spun around and rested her head on his chest. Jethro wrapped his arm around her waist and listened to her breathing. He watched her, waiting for her breathing to even out. Thinking that she was asleep his whispered into the night. "I love you Jenny." With her eyes closed she smiled, and much like him, when his breathing had levelled out and she was sure that he was asleep she also whispered.

"Je t'aime."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – thank you to all of you who are reviewing this story and those who have favourited and alerted – it means a lot. **

**I am so sorry for the wait, only I have a lot on with my GCSE's which are in three weeks. So updates will be slow. Also I have not as much Jibbs muse as Nashville has taken over. **

**Anyway, sorry for spelling, grammar etc, and enjoy!**

The following morning, before the sun had even yet to rise or light to softly splinter through the blind, Jethro slowly awoke. His eyes, almost hesitantly, opening to reveal the darkness that filled the room. Momentarily he found himself slightly disorientates as to his whereabouts, however the feeling of a warm body using his chest as a pillow reminded him of the previous night, of Jenny tiptoeing into his room and falling asleep next to him. A small smile spread across his face at the memory, not one of his signature smirks but instead a real smile. Bright, and warm, something that so few people ever got the chance to see. Sighing he picked up his mobile from the bedside cabinate and realised that seaming as he had to drive back to Dc in time for work he should really be going.

As silently and gently as he could, he lifted Jenny up ever so slightly, trying not to wake her, and began to untangle their legs before he slipped out from under the covers. As he began to pull his jeans back on, and the rest of his clothes from the previous night he heard the red head who slept beside him begin to stir. He paused as he put his jacket on and looked down at her, watching as her eye lids flickered open to reveal the sparkling green orbs behind them. She smiled at him through sleep covered eyes. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked with her hair all tossled, and eyes shining. "Where are you going?" She asked softly, before giving into the yawn that had been tickling her.

"Gotta drive back up to DC." He said before sitting down on the side of the bed. He watched her bury her head in the pillow and groan."You gonna be alright?" He asked her before running a hand through her hair.

"Yeah." She said with a down heartened look. "I'll let him know today I'm gonna see him tomorrow. I'll tell him then see if Ducky wants to go out to lunch." She said with a small smile at the thought of their mutual friend who had been there for the both of them a lot over not just recent years but a large majority of their careers.

"Okay, come see me afterwards? My boss is quite a decent person most of the time so I think she'd let me get off earlier." He said with a wink.

"Only part of the time?" She asked with a smirk.

"Well, she does kick my ass when I don't play nice."

"She sounds like a good boss." Jenny said laughing.

"Debateable!" He replied whilst laughing. Jenny playfully slapped him as they both laughed. It had been a very long time since Jenny had laughed like this. She and Richard were always serious; there were never any laughs in recent years. "Right, I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." She said with a smile before sitting up and kissing him on the cheek. "Tomorrow we'll start over."

"Tomorrow." He said before getting up and walking out, a smile playing on his lips. Jenny's stayed in the same position as she listened to him walk down the hall, down the stairs and out of the door. When the sound of the door closing filled the empty house Jenny fell back onto the bed. She placed her face in the pillow he had been sleeping on and closed her eyes, letting his scent fill her and relax her. She closed her eyes and realised just how much she was still in love with him. Slowly Jen let herself fall back into a world of slumber, and dreams about what her life could be like in the future.

It was half eight when Gibbs came striding into the bull pen with a slight spring in his step and feeling a lot lighter. Outside, the rain was pouring down, big fat droplets that left you soaking wet within just moments. He walked in to see his team behaving like children. Tony was throwing stuff at McGee whilst he was talking to Abby, and Ziva arguing with Tony about the fact he was throwing stuff. To anyone else it would be unbelievable to think that these four people were NCIS' finest agents and one of the US' top forensic scientists.

Although the silver haired fox was in a rather good mood, he was not planning on letting his team know about that. So as he walked past he sternly said: "Back to work!" Before walking over to his desk, feeling lost without his familiar cup of coffee which he had not had time to pick up. He looked up and saw his team quieting down for once.

"Bit late this morning boss, you sleep through your alarm?" Tony questioned with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Sometimes, more often than not, Gibbs wished that he could lower the younger man's volume levels. Gibbs got up and glared at the younger man before head slapping him as he walked past. "Shutting up boss." He said as he watched his boss walk off.

"Getting coffee." He grumbled before walking off, realising that he was not going to be able to cope with the day if he did not have his fix of caffeine running through his veins soon he may just kill DiNozzo. So the boss walked out of NCIS and ran down the street to the coffee shop where he knew he could get a decent cup of coffee.

-Harder to shine-

The following morning Jenny woke from a fitful night's sleep at 0530. To say she had not slept would be an understatement; she had spent the majority of the night tossing and turning as she worried about the following day. A few hours ago she had finally managed to fall asleep, yet it was short lives. The thing was that Jenny truly had no idea as to why she was nervous. Yes she was the one asking for a divorce, yet she was also the innocent party.

All this still boiled down to the fact that she was finding it hard to admit the scale of disaster that had fallen upon her and her marriage. She was struggling in ways to admit the fact that somewhere along the line she had made a massive mistake.

She lay in bed, covers tangled around her feet, for another half hour before she realised there was no chance of her falling back to sleep. So, with a sigh she untangled her legs and for out of bed. With a sigh and knowing she needed to clear her head she pulled in her leggings and running top before lacing up her trainers and heading downstairs. After downing a glass of water she grappled her IPod, plugged in her earphones and left the beach house.

That morning with all of the pent up worry, nerves and anger inside of her she neglected to think about her pace, stride and breathing. Instead the red headed director just ran full pelt as though she were being chased. She ran and ran until she reached the pier that she and Jethro had run to only a couple of days earlier. The difference was that this time she was red faced and heavy breathing. However that was what she had wanted. Jenny was relishing in the burn of her lungs as they experienced oxygen debate. She stood there for a moment in the dull light of early morning, absorbing the silence as if it were worth more than gold. She watched as the seas white horses came crashing in, as waves gradually formed out in the distance and the light illuminated the water just so that it acted as a mirror in the dawn. She smiled at the sight. Even now, over a week after she had arrived, it was a sight that could take her breath away.

Yet Jenny knew that there was no time for that this morning. Today she had things to so, so in the same way ah has run down to the pier she ran back. By now the world was beginning to come alive and everything was a little bit more awake.

She ran into the house, stretched off and drank another large glass of water before she sighed and went up for her shower. The warm water eased her aching muscles and made her smile as the steam enveloped her. The red head shampooed and conditioned her long hair before washing herself down with the fruity smelling body wash.

Twenty minutes later she was stood in front of her wardrobe having an internal argument with herself. Hr long red hair that had considerably grown as of recently was now only damp and hanging down her back whilst she wore a thin gown around her with underwear underneath. The wardrobe contained all the clothes she had brought and some that were still there from when she was a teenager. Jenny groaned and looked at the clothes in front of her. She did not have a clue what to wear; she wanted to show Richard she was different, confident and had moved on. Yet what outfit said that?

She stood there rumaging through the rails until she found a navy blue dress, it had white silhouettes of birds on it. She pulled it out and looked at it, deciding that it would do. She pulled it on and looked at it; she rummaged around until she found a brown tan belt that would fit around her waist. With that on Jenny looked at the minimal makeup she had kept after the press conference. Slowly she applied a coat of mascara, found a light colour of eye shadow and then applied the burn red lipstick she loved. Jenny then decided to deal with her hair, but first she looked at her phone. Jenny flicked down past all of the e-mails that she was technically not meant to be receiving. Then she saw a message from Jethro, and she instinctively smiled.

_Today will be fine, and I'll see you tonight xx_

Jenny couldn't help but wonder how long it had taken for him to figure out how to write all of that. She smiled still and texted him back thanking him and saying that she would see him later. Then she looked in the mirror and decided instead of showing Richard who she was, she would try to make Jethro's jaw drop, and make Richard see just what he was missing. So, with a smile on her face for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

She rubbed curling mouse through her hair, pulled on a pair of knee high, calf hugging brown suede boots with a three inch heel. The dress fell a couple of inches above her knee so the effect was just what she wanted.

An hour later, after having coffee, shoving a change of clothes in her hand bag and eating a piece of toast she decided she had better leave. With her tan brown leather Jacket on and an extra layer of lipstick on she began the drive up to DC, taking the longer route so that she did not arrive way too early.

Eleven O'clock came, and in a small café in DC, sat cupping a mug of coffee with cream and tonnes of sugar, Senator Richard sat. On the seat beside of him an envelope sat, this was the end, both of them knew it. Outside the rain was belting down on the glass, beside him his phone sat there, lighting up continuously with work notifications. He knew she was late, he'd known se would be. Jennifer Shepard was wanting to prove a point, and he was more than willing o let her play it out before he walked out.

She came running in with a smile on her face, he almost expected someone to follow her, like that pain in the ass agent Gibbs. But nobody did. Instead she walked over and smiled, before shaking off her jacket and running a hand through her now damp locks. She'd parked at Jethro's house and then walked here, deciding that from the café she could walk to NCIS headquarters to meet Ducky. However that was before the rain had started.

She stayed silent whilst the waitress poured her coffee and then once she left she smiled a way to sweet smile towards him. "Hello Richard." She stated as her long thin fingers wrapped around the warmth of the white mug in her hands.

"Jennifer." He stated as he look in her appearance. "Look I know why you are here."

"Oh do you?" She stated with a smirk before raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I do, and I'm sorry Jennifer I really am-"

"It's Jenny, I've always hated Jennifer."

"Right, well. Look I know this will be hard but I think it is best for us both." HE then placed the brown envelope onto the table and pushed it forward.

"This is what?" She questioned him.

"I know you want us to continue." He stated, ad she nearly spluttered her coffee all over the place. "But I have filed for divorce. I think its best if any further communication takes place between our lawyers." He sated and was about to stand up before she butted in.

"You thought I wanted to continue?! Jesus Christ Richard do you really know that little about me?! I came here to ask you for a divorce – the civil way." She just shook her head. "_You're _divorcing _me_? So you really are going off with whatever-"

"Her name is-"

"I don't give a damn! I don't actually care Richard, not any more. You can do whatever the hell you please. I don't feel responsible any more, not now. Go do as you please, I've done nothing wrong." With a small smile on her face, she stood up pulled on her jacket and took the black umbrella at his feet.

"That is mine!"

"Oh, I thought you were supposed to share when you're married? Guess you forgot about that at the same you forgot about being faithful then." Was all she said before she got up and walked out of the café, putting the large black umbrella up and heading to head quarters whilst he grumbled and swore, paid for the coffees and ran to his waiting car not a hundred meters away.

Jenny walked down the street, brolly shading her from the large droplets of water that were falling from the sky. As she went, heels clacking against the stone pavement she had to resist the urge to jump and squeal and laugh. After however many years she had finally stood up to him, and now after nights spent awake blaming herself for the situation she was in, she was beginning to realise that this was not her fault. Jenny could smile, and laugh now. The rain still pelted down but like a little child she had the urge to jump in the puddles and make the most of it – only the knowledge that it would wreck her boots stopped her.

The walk to NCIS took a good half hour, but she didn't care. The smell of exhaust fumes that filled the city, the mouthing off teens, and desperate parents could not dampen her mood. The bag over her shoulder swung as she went; inside it the divorce papers sat there, the brown envelope now seeming more like a joke than something serious. He'd said the divorce would be hard, but she knew that he obviously did not have a clue what he was talking about. Before the marriage they had both signed pre-naps, meaning that they kept what they had previously had and cut everything else down the middle. Jenny thought about the house they currently shared and decided that she wanted nothing to do with it; she decided that she would not force him to sell it, not yet, but when the time came she wanted half of the money it sold for.

As she arrived at the gates to the Navy Yard the guard on duty looked at her strangely, as though he had never seen a woman walking in the rain before. "Is everything alright ma'am?" He questioned her, concerned as to why the director of NCIS was walking around the city with not security and in the rain.

"Everything in fine, may I enter or have I been kicked out in my absence?" She smirked as the younger dark haired man looked shocked and opened the gates for her. She walked through with a smile. "Have a nice day." She replied before walking away, but she couldn't resist the urge to laugh at the shocked look on the man's face. People really did think she lived a life of luxury and had a heart of ice. She guessed that the news of the divorce would not help, and that there would be more than one paper calling them a 'power couple'. But with the mood she was in not even that would put a dampener on her spirits.

Jenny walked through the entrance to NCIs and put her brolly down. She smiled at the man on security. "Ma'am, we didn't expect you back for at least another week and a half." He stated, looking almost worried.

"I'm here on a social call Agent Woods." She said with a smile. "Could I leave this down here? I don't want Vance accusing me of causing a health and safety hazard in my own agency." She questioned as she handed him the umbrella.

"Of course ma'am." He said before watching the red head walk away, he couldn't help but realise how god damn good she looked, just as the rest of the agency couldn't envy the fact either.

-Harder to shine-

Autopsy was silent as she walked in, and she almost thanked god that all of Ducky's 'visitors' had been put away. She smiled at the scene of normality in front of her. Mr. Palmer was wiping down the steel table whilst Ducky sat at his desk writing up the report and telling a story. It was nice to see that the rest of the world had returned to normality whilst her world went mad.

It was Jimmy who was the first to notice her presence. "Director Shepard?" He questioned. She just smiled and then turned to Ducky.

"Director, what can I do for you, I was under the impression you were still on holiday."

"It's Jenny Ducky." She said with a smile. Since she had become director she hated that he had stopped calling her by her name and started by her title. "I'm here as a friend."

He smiled at her. "Well then Jennifer my dear, what can I do for you?"

"Have you eaten yet ducky?"

"As a matter of fact I have not my dear."

"Then I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner." She said with a smile. He gratefully accepted and went to get his coat and umbrella before walking out with Jenny.

"Doctor, what should I tell assistant director Vance?" questioned Jimmy.

However if was Jenny that answered. "Tell him that the good doctor is with _Assistant _director Vance's boss!" She said with a smile before to two walked out, her arm linked through his.

**Please review, I need urging on a bit **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – thank you all for the massive support! You have no idea how much it helps! Sorry for the delay, I have exams in just over two weeks, and considering I did really bad in my mocks I have a lot of work to do which means that I have a lot less time to write. So, apologies. There's a lashing of Jibbs in this, so enjoy.**

**Good news! I have been planning this story out with my friend Megan, so we have somewhere to aim for! Enjoy!**

Whilst Jenny and Ducky stood in the lift, waiting for it to reach the correct floor so that they could leave for lunch, the red head wondered if Gibbs was at headquarters. She was desperate to tell him the news about the divorce, about the fact that she was free of her controlling husband. In a way she was beginning to feel as though she were back to her old self. Back to being the carefree and fun person she had been before she left Jethro. Jenny had not slipped behind of her director's mask in a little over a week now, and she felt really good for it. Jen missed the job, she would be lying if she said that she didn't, she wasn't the sort of person who stay home all day doing nothing. Yet she didn't miss the nights, the nights when she would be so physically drained that she would forget to eat, and go to bed and yet not even be able to sleep.

She stared at the cold metal in front of her eyes and wondered if he was nearby, if she was in the same building as him. "Ducky is Jethro here or is he out on a case?" She asked her older friend. He smiled a knowing and yet warm smile. Ever since her return three years ago he had heard the scuttlebutt that filled the corridors. Yet he was one of the few people who knew the true events of what had happened the last time around.

"He is not my dear. They got a break and enter case this morning, the team are there now. The burglar alarm went off and the man was kept at the scene by the home owner the whole time so it seems as though it will be reasonably simple." He looked t her, seeing a momentary wave of disappointment flash over her face. Yet it was gone almost instantaneously. "Rumour has it that you two have been getting reasonably close again." Commented the Scotsman.

"Since when do you listen to rumours Ducky?" she asked him with a small smirk.

"I may be old my dear but I do still like to know what is going on. Anyway, it is written all over your face." Jenny instantly blushed and looked away, like a teenager caught out by a parent.

"He came to stay with me at the weekend – he slept in the spare room though." She admitted, even though she knew that she had done nothing wrong and that even if she had then Ducky would not be the sort of man who would judge her. "I think . . . I think that there is still something between us." Jenny looked as though she had revealed a secret as she let the words tumble from her mouth and they left the lift. They were silent though as they passed through security and she picked up the umbrella that she had left there on her way in.

They stepped outside and were pleased to see that the rain had given way to sunshine, and that the air had a damp smell about it, one that only ever settled after masses of rain. Both smiled as they walked down the street, neither even contemplating a car, nor discussing where they should eat. There was a small café not far away, which served nice food and sprawled out onto the streets in the summer. It was a place that they both liked a lot and had always visited. As they walked Ducky said: "There has always been something between you and Jethro, for many years." She sighed and smiled at the thought of the way they had hidden their relationship the last time. "Does this mean you have made a decision on your marriage?" He asked her. By this stage they were near as dammit at the café so Jenny said that she would tell him when they had sat down.

Inside the café was busy, so the pair sat down outside underneath one of the covers where the seats were still dry and the outside heaters were on so it was warm. They sat down and ordered their drinks: Coffee for her and tea for him, as well as their meals seaming as both already knew the menu so well. One the waitress had gone they continued their conversation.

"I went to see Richard earlier today. I'd decided that after the whole fiasco of the press conference I couldn't go on. When Jethro came to see me that evening he was so annoyed that after everything I had stood by him. I needed him to shut up so I kissed him." She said, running a hand through her hair. "But afterwards, even though I stopped it going any further I realised that I enjoyed it, and didn't feel guilty."

"Have you told Richard?"

"I came here today to tell him I wanted a divorce, tell him before anything became formal so that it was less likely to get all over the top. But when I got there he handed me the divorce papers. I guess he really was a jerk Ducky!"

Ducky took her hand into his and squeezed it ever so gently. "My dear, sometimes we make wrong judgements, it is how we know that others are right ones." He said with a smile and she sighed. "Have you told Jethro?"

"No, not yet. I'm going to go and tell him tonight hopefully." She said with a smile. "I think he might be able to recommend a good lawyer, after all he has some experience in these things." She said, and both of the two adults laughed.

"I'm sure that he could my dear. IF I recall correctly then his first wife was a divorce lawyer." Jenny smiled and they fell into silence as a young woman delivered their food. Her hair was blonde with the ends dip died bright turquoise. She had on extensive black eye liner that went into flicks at the corners of her eye lids. The waitress placed down the meals and asked if she could get them anything else. Both said they were fine and she left.

For a few moments they ate in silence, enjoying the food and company. Jenny looked up, finished her mouthful and said: "I don't think that I ever said how thankful I was to you, to all of you, for what you did the other week with the FBI. I know it must have seemed like I killed the frog, but I didn't. And I am thankful for you all sticking up for me."

"My dear you are family, we are all family and when it comes to family, you stand by those you love." Said the older man with a smile.

"Well thank you, it really does mean an awful lot to me." She stated, with a warm smile on her face.

"You are more than welcome." He said with a smile before he began telling another story which Jenny was reasonably sure that she had heard more than one time before. So as Ducky rambled on, Jenny half listened, instead looking out across the street.

The heavy rain earlier on had left large puddles on the pavement and road, potholes turned into small pools. The cars drove past, slowing for the café's and pedestrians that went by. Shop windows were filled with clothes, tourists were distinguishable by the large cameras that hung around their necks, or were held in their hands. She watched them go by, people of all ages, young children holding the hands of their parents, teenagers walking by, mouth moving faster than anything whilst their fingers moved even faster whilst they spoke to two people at once. Older couples walked slowly, hand in hand watching all the generations pass them by.

Jenny smiled as she watched, nodding and making appropriate sounds to Ducky. So they stayed like that, well longer than Ducky's lunch break but neither said anything, after all he was in the company of his boss. She smiled when the story came to an end; even if she hadn't listened it made her smile to hear him talk. All those years ago Jenny and Jethro had held hands under the table whilst Ducky spoke, so far away in his own mind that they could pretty much do as they wanted.

When they had finished their meals, Ducky insisted on paying the bill, even if Jenny did argue. However, in the end she gave him as he stated he would be insulted if she did not let him. Once the bill was paid they walked back to NCIS. By this time it was nearing 2pm, so Ducky had to get back to work. Jenny however, decided that she would go by the old townhouse before she met Jethro.

After she hailed a cab, she arrived at the house and sighed, pulling out her house key. IT was months since she had last been there, so the door was stiff to open, just as it had always been. Walking in she picked up the few pieces of junk mail that sat on the floor. The house smelt clean, she knew that even though Noami looked after the house she and Richard had been living in, the Spanish woman still looked after this house once a week as well.

Richard had hated this house; he said it was too historic. Jenny however still loved it. It held some bad memories but good ones as well. The place had a warm feeling about it, a homely feel to it – something that she had always wished the other house had had.

The red head walked through the hall, and placed her jacket over the banister. Her first stop was coffee, which was still in the cupboard, before she took the white mug into the office. Whilst in there she went through the pile of mail. Some of it was junk which she threw in the bin. The other things she looked to see whether they were urgent, yet because none were, she placed them down again.

She spent her after noon sorting through the house, sorting through all of the old things that she needed to get rid of. Jenny went through the office, and through the spare room, getting rid of all of her high school junk. Hours later Jenny had gone through half of the house, clearing it out and making room for the new possessions that she had accumulated over the time since she had been living in the house. When everything was sorted she went back downstairs and flaked out on the couch in the office. Jenny closed her eyes and remembered the time she had Jethro had spent their lives out of work in this room. She'd read with her feet on his knee, he meanwhile would watch her or read as well. Neither of them had ever been big of television, but now and again they had settled down to watch a classic film. It would surprise Tony if he were ever to find out about the films Gibbs had actually seen. Many of the films the younger agent quoted on a daily basis were ones they had watched. Jenny smiled as she remembered those days.

Back then it had been Burley who had been the joker of the pack, him who would take the Mick out o Gibbs, which was they never told anyone about what they did behind closed doors. Jen and Gibbs had never straight out told anyone they were together back then, but when you work with two people who are sleeping together, a person begins to pick up little signs. So it was not long before the younger agent realised. However this time around, Jenny and Gibbs were determined to keep it a little quieter than last time around.

She sighed as she looked up at the ceiling, and then over to the wall of books. They harboured dust which she knew was not a healthy thing, especially for her. But she loved the feeling of holding a new book, or even an old dog eared book. There was nothing that beet it.

She picked up her phone as she heard it buzz and smiled when she saw Jethro's name light up her screen. He told her that he would be back at his in half an hour, so Jenny decided to make her way back. The walk would only take her twenty minutes, meaning there would be time to stop off to get Italian on the way. So with a smile on her face, one that was there a while lot more often since she had found out about the divorce, she shrugged on her jacket and left the house.

It turned out, that the Italian was quiet on a week day, meaning she was back at Gibbs' house within twenty five minutes. She walked up the driveway and walked in the open door. It was so Gibbs. Even when he was not home his front door was not locked, he was always there for people, and that was one of the reasons that she respected Gibbs.

Within two minutes of her walking though the door, she heard the sound of Gibbs' car driving up the driveway. Jen went to the kitchen, quickly grabbed some plates – happy to find that he had not moved the kitchen around since she had last been there. Jen then grabbed the bottle of bourbon and two mugs before walking into the living room. She smiled as he walked through the door, dressed in his usual work attire but looking damn good none the less. "Hey." HE said with a smile, not sure as to whether he was allowed to kiss her or not.

"Hey." She replied, deciding that she would let him know. So she walked over and softly kissed his lips. Both smiled and she felt a sense of relief pass over her. She was officially separated now, and getting divorced, she could do as he pleased seaming as her estranged husband obviously was.

When they parted he smiled. "Does that mean you're getting divorced?" He questioned hopefully.

She just kissed him again, passionately this time. "That does." She replied with a smirk that matched his. However his smirk turned into a full blown grin as he picked her up around the waist and spun her around. Both laughed and she mock hit him when her feet were firmly placed back on the ground. "The food is getting cold." She said before taking his hand and leading him over. They sat down and dished out the take away. Then he poured her a glass of bourbon and she smiled, chinking his glass. "To being free of the biggest jerk I have ever known!" She said with a laugh.

"To freedom." He stated before they took at drink.

They ate in relative silence. That was one thing that they both loved about their relationship – the fact that they didn't need to talk the whole time or use words to say how they felt. These two were so in tune with one another that they already knew. "You know, my first ex-wife was a divorce lawyer." Said Gibbs.

"Ginger?"

"Yeah, used to be criminal, moved over to divorce a couple of years ago. You want her number?" He asked as he took another mouthful. Jenny just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "What?" He said with a smirk.

"You actually want something to do with an ex-wife?"

"Well she'd good! Hell she let me skint."

"And it would not bother you?"

"Not saying that."

"Then what are you saying?" HE asked him with a knowing look.

"She is good Jen, use her."

"Okay." She said with a laugh before leaning over and pecking his cheek. "Thank you, for everything." She whispered in his ear, and he smiled a warm and loving smile before pulling her into his embrace and kissing her temple.

"Always." He whispered into the silent room, hoping for once that that house would be able to whiteness a relationship that actually worked out in the end.

**Review?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS**

**Authors note – Sorry it is short, but I have a lot on and have just finished my 52 page coursework exam today! Also I have lot of stuff on, so sorry it is short. Enjoy! **

The sun was yet to rise, the sky in that mid dawn stage, no longer pitch black and yet nor was the sun visible past the horizon. Birds were yet to wake, yet owls had gone. Trees stood, their leaves catching the perfectly round droplets of rain that fell. Pattering sounds filled houses as the rain dappled against the glass of the windows. Puddles began to form, small patches of water sitting in the imperfections of the road. Turning soil to mud and grass soggy.

In the bedroom of his house they lay. For once the frequently forgotten bed was being used. The white covers hit just above their shoulder blades. Bare legs tangled together beneath the soft covers. She rested her head on his chest, small smiles on both of their faces. They'd dozed off a while ago, but neither was asleep now as they knew that Jethro was due to be back at NCIS in just a couple of hours.

She listened to his heartbeat, steady and reassuring. Eyes gently closed and hand playing with the fine hair. He lay with his head on a pillow, one arm wrapped almost protectively around her waist whilst the other was on top of her hands. He ran his hand through her long red hair, smiling at the sound of her steady breathing. Admiring the way her skin almost glowed in the dark, the way even at night her green eyes glistened and sparkled.

"What are we doing Jethro?" She questioned, raising her head so that she could look up at him. She didn't know where she had sprouted the question out from. But having had the news that she was getting divorced and then having fallen into bed with her former lover all in the course of a day, she was confused. Jethro looked down at her, he was not completely sure as to what to say.

"I don't know Jenny." Was his reply, because it was the only truthful reply that he could come up with. What they were doing he didn't know, what he wanted it to be though – that he did know. However, Jethro was well aware of what would be going through Jenny's mind, hell he'd been in her position three times. Jethro did not want to push anything on her, she'd only just left one relationship, and the thought of going flying straight into another might be a little too daunting.

"What do you want it to be?" She questioned, tuning so she was almost resting on top of him. "Honestly." She prompted, edging him on. Jen watched as he internally debated what the answer was that he should say. But looking at her soft and gentle eyes he knew all too well that the only thing she would ever force out of him was the truth. So, that was what he decided she would get.

"I want . . . I want this to be something that lasts." He said softly, still running a hand through her long red hair in a soothing way.

"You do?" She questioned, trying – and failing – to hide the smile that was slowly forming across her face. Jenny was surprised; she'd expected to just be another notch on his bedpost all over again. However that was not saying that she did not want it to be more.

"What else would I want it to be Jenny? You're the most beautiful, intelligent, strong headed woman I've ever known." He smiled at the look of sheer shock on her face, and chuckled softly. "I let you go once Jen, I'm not letting you go again."

Jenny smiled, not knowing what to say and so instead she leant up and softly captured his lips in a soft and gentle kiss. When they parted she kissed him all over again. "Jethro, if this is going to work then we need to be honest this time around."

"We will be Jen." He said, nodding and admiring the way the glow from the window reflected against her smooth skin.

"Then I think that I need to be honest with you Jethro, before you find out some other way." She stated, looking down with a sigh and kissing his bare chest. Jethro pulled her chin up to eyelevel.

"What is it Jen? Are you okay?" He asked, scared all of a sudden at the thought of what could be to come. He was looking in her eyes, looking for dread and fear.

"I have something called Leukopenia."

"Okay." He replied, still slightly confused. Over the years, through working with Ducky, he had learnt a lot. However his knowledge was still not exactly extensive.

"It's a low white blood count in the blood. White blood cells fight off infection and stuff. Mine is low, it changes monthly, sometimes it is not too bad yet from time to time it gets dangerous."

"So little things can make you really ill?"

"Pretty much. I can have treatments, stuff to raise the level when it gets too low. But that is why I have Noami – to keep the house clean and prevent germs and stuff." She looked in his eyes and watched as the realisation gradually began to form.

"Jen, has it ever gotten _really, dangerously _low?"

"Yes." She said, looking down once more. Jen was not sure as to why she felt ashamed of the fact. She guessed it was because of the fact that she wanted to be seen as strong, so being weak, especially when it was something out of your control that she did not like. "Back in Cairo, when I said Ziva saved my life . . . We were on a deep cover op. I . . . There was this child who had the flu. It only took a day, Ziva woke up and she found me nearly unconscious. Ziva risked the lives of a good twenty Mossad officers to get me to hospital. She saved my life that day." she said softly.

Jethro looked at her, and for what seemed like the first time in way too long, he truly saw Jenny. Not the loyal wife, the fierce director or the incredible agent, but Jenny. He saw the woman who half fought tooth and nail, given up what she wanted for family honour, stayed in a marriage even when she knew it was going downhill because she had said those two words – I do.

Jethro saw the weakness, the fear and fright in her eyes at the thought of weeks that were to come, her divorce. The worry where the media was concerned, and what it was that she was going to when she told the SecNav. Jethro just looked at her, brushed a stray red hair away from her eye and softly kissed her. Showing her that he was there. "Come back to DC Jenny, stay here, stay at the townhouse. I don't mind, I just was you to be home."

"Okay, this weekend." She said smiling, before leaning down to capture his lips once more.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – I hope that you all enjoy this, I am sorry for the delay but for the next five weeks life is going to be seriously bonkers! So only expect one update a week. I have sent off the last chapter of 'Obviously Perhaps' to Left my heart in Paris, so if you read that then keep an eye out.**

**This was written whilst listening to a lot of country music like Johnny Cash, which is what I saying is the cause to massive changes in mood throughout. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy it, please read and review! **

Hours later, when the sun had finally risen and birds were singing, Jenny and Jethro finally untangled themselves from one another and got up. Neither was particularly happy about having to leave the warm comfort of the bed, but they did it anyway. Jethro had to go into work for a case, and SecNav had decided to schedule an impromptu MTAC conference with Jenny, after he had heard whispers about her divorce. Where they had come from she did not know, but she did know that today would not be pretty.

So she showered first and then went in search of her bag which contained a spare change of clothes. BY the time she had found it and taken it upstairs Jethro was already getting dressed. She smiled as she watched him put on his undershirt and admired the way his muscles rippled. "See something ya like Jen?" He asked teasingly, wearing his signature smirk.

"Maybe, but you'll have to wait until later to find out." She said with a wink before she began getting dressed. And Just as she had watched him he watched as she elegantly slipped into a soft cream cotton blouse and fastened the gold buttons with her long thin fingers. Then as she bent over and stepped into a pair of skinny leg tan chinos. Jenny smirked once more as she spun around and caught the cheeky look on his face.

"Coffee?" He asked as he left the room, but she didn't bother to reply, because after all he already knew the answer.

Jen walked into the bathroom and towel dried her red hair before loosely French plaiting the wet strands. After that she applied minimal makeup – a little mascara and concealer with her signature red lippy. Then Jen packed last night's clothes into her handbag, and rolled her trousers up so that she could wear her boots underneath. Once she was done she made her way down into the kitchen. The room was sparsely furnished. There was a coffee machine which was the only sign that this man actually lived in the twenty first century.

He spotted her and handed her over a white pottery mug filled which rich black coffee. "What d'you think SecNav wants?" He asked as he sat down next to Jenny.

"HE's probably heard about the divorce from one of Richard's pathetic public relations people." She said as she wrapped her fingers around the mug and relished in the warmth.

"I thought you said that he was going to keep it under wraps?"

"I assumed her would." She groaned in frustration. "But I guess that shows how little I know about my husband after all. God there'll be a press release by the end of the day!" Jenny buried her head in her hands and sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to black out all of the annoyance she was feeling. As much as Jenny was missing her job she had an ever growing part of her that simply wanted to get up, hand in her resignation and leave. Go far away and start up a little business somewhere where no one would have any idea who she was. But then there was Jethro, the man who she could feel herself falling into old routines with all over again. And if the truth be known, that was something that she had seriously missed.

"Hey, Jenny." He said, making her look up and taking one of her hands with a smile. "We'll get through this, just like we will get through your illness and everything else. Nothing is going to take you away from me again. Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah I got that." She said with a smile, before reaching across and kissing his lips softly. "Right, come on it's time to face the music. We best go."

So with that they both grabbed their jackets and bags and left the house.

For many years Jenny had dealt with her illness, just as her mother had dealt with it for all of these years before her. But things were different for Jenny now. Always had she been alone, but now she was beginning to see that when the time would come where she got ill, there would be someone standing by her side and holding her hand: Jethro.

The drive to work was almost silent, the sound of soft music playing gently in the background. The roads passed them by, familiar streets that they had lived on for years, played on as a child and walked on as an adult. Life seemed so different in days gone by to what it now was. They passed the stores that they had watched change and went by ones which were still the same as they very first day they had walked in.

By the time they arrived at the Navy Yard Jenny had begun to pull up the directors walls, and Gibbs, even just looking at her, could tell that she had done so. She had stiffened and straightened and looked hard and cold all over again. "Thank you for the life Gibbs." She said with a smile and he simply nodded and watched as she got out and walked away. As it so happened they were on the same elevator up, but neither held the others hand, instead they acted like nothing had changed since that last time that she was in this building.

Gibbs got off at the bullpen and so did Jenny. He went t his team. Tony was on the phone to some new brunette woman that he was in the process of stringing along for a while. McGee was not at his desk, yet Gibbs guessed that the younger man was down with Abby in her lab. Ziva meanwhile was working at her computer, and by the looks of it typing up one of Tony's case reports as it seemed that she was one of only a very small amount of people that could actually read his hand writing.

"Morning Gibbs." Said Ziva, in her usual chirpy and wide awake voice. He watched as her eyes went to Jenny, walking up the stairs. Even with her director's walls up, the trained Mossad officer was well aware that something was different with the other woman. She looked almost happier, and walked with a slight bounce in her step. "I did not know that the Director was back in today." She said in her flawless English.

"SecNav wanted a conference with her." He replied gruffly as he hit his computer monitor so that it would turn on.

"Is everything alright?" She asked the older man who she saw as a father.

"Yeah, she'll talk to ya later." He said before heading off to go and find the nearest source of coffee. Ziva's eyes however lingered on the red head until she disappeared into MTAC.

Jenny walked into the familiar dark room of MTAC with a stomach full of nerves. She always hated meeting with the SecNav eve when they were not about her personal life. So now she really was nervous. As she walked in she saw that Leon was stood there on a conference call with the Director of the Secret Service. So instead of getting involved in a conversation that she really could not be bothered with she slipped into the end seat which was in the dark and sat silently until the call was over.

Jenny watched as her assistant director acted all frustrated and hot under the collar. He had thought that her job was as easy as pie; she hoped that now he was beginning to get an idea of what it was really like. By the time the call was over she could almost see the fear that was filling his eyes. "Hello Leon." She said, not moving from her spot.

"Jenny." He said, almost shocked. 2You're not due back for over a week."

"I know. But I thought that I would check up on you." She replied with a smirk.

"Well, as you can see we are fine here. No need for you to worry."

"How are you finding wearing my heels Leon? Slightly high?"

"A perfect fit actually."

"Well don't get too used to them, they are still mine. Now if you don't mind I have a meeting with the SecNav." She said with a smile as she moved to centre stage and signalled for all excess techs's to leave the room. She heard the door slick as they left and then answered the incoming call from the SecNav with a sigh. She nervously brushed a now dry air from her face and patted down her damp plait consciously.

"Jenny, it is good to see you." Said the older, grey haired man over the screen. When she had first started having dealings with the secretary of the Navy all those years ago he had called her 'Jennifer', but unlike her husband he actually listened when she told him that she hated being called that and proffered Jenny. Now, they had a good enough relationship and respected one another. SO much so that when she had been under suspicion for the murder of Rene Benoit, he had been willing to pay for a solicitor to clear her name.

"As it is to see you sir." She replied with a small smile that she used to hide her nerves.

"How are you enjoying your time of Jenny? You are looking a lot better."

"Thank you sir, I certainly feel it. I've been down in Rhode Island; it was nice to be aback down there by the sea in all fairness Sir."

"Good, and how about you and Richard?"

"I take it you have heard then if you are asking about that?"

"I have, and I have noticed your lack of wedding ring." he said, his voice all of a sudden going serious. She subconsciously felt her bare ring finger and not used to not feeling the ring on her finger.

"Ahh." She replied, not entirely sure how to address the subject.

"Who was it who filed?"

"HE did. I went there to tell him I wanted a divorce and he told me that he had already filed."

"And how do we plan on tackling this?" He asked, the look on his face made Jenny realise that she was not the only one of them that had come to the conclusion that her soon-to-be ex-husband was going to make a statement.

"Well up until this morning I was under the assumption that Richard and I would be keeping this under wraps."

"Do you have any idea what he is planning to say?"

"Well in all honesty sir I am imagining it to be the usual BS. Something about how we have grown apart over the years – he never was very imaginative."

"What is the real reason?"

"I thought that was obvious sir? His affair turned out to be a little more that a couple of one off nights under the covers."

"He fell in love with her?" Asked the SecNav in disbelief.

"He did sir." Jenny said cringing.

"Jenny, do you have a lawyer sorted?"

"I do sir. One of Jethro's ex-wives as it turns out. She comes highly recommended." She said. She was a bit anxious as to how he would take the news, but all he did was chuckle.

"Well Gibbs would know. Am I to assume that you and he are . . ." He paused for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"Yes sir, you are."

"I will take this as you officially telling me Jenny. Keep it out of the press and away from the office and I will not know. But I will give you a word of advice, from one person who was in the public eye and went through a divorce to another who is going through." He said with a small smile. "Hide it as thought it was a subject of national security until the final divorce meeting. Otherwise you will be found to be as bad as he is."

"Thank you sir. I appreciate that."

"Good. When am I to look out for the press statement from out pain in the ass of a senator?" He asked with a small smirk.

"I'm assuming tonight Sir."

"Okay Jenny, I will keep an eye out. If there are any complications then I will let you deal with them. Call me if you need any support with it."

"Thank you sir, I will do."

"Good, well then, I will see you in a week or so."

"See you soon." And with that the line went dead and Jenny sighed, she hoped to god that Richard would not pull any of his usual twisted rubbish. So as Jenny left MTAC she heaved a sigh of relief. She stood on the catwalk and surveyed her kingdom, when she caught Ziva's eye she decided that it was most likely about time that she and the woman who she was forever in debt to, had a talk. After all, it was only fair that Ziva knew that was happening from the houses mouth, after all it would only take her a fraction of the time it would take anyone else to figure it out for herself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – so sorry for the delay, I am slightly stumped with this at the moment, but I hope that it is okay. **

**Enjoy!**

**Harder to Shine**

Whilst she was well aware that, even if it was just for one night, staying away from Jethro was in her best interests, yet she also knew that it was never going to even be a possibility. Their relationship never had obeyed any rules. So why would it start now? That was how they ended up curled together on the sofa watching the news whilst somewhere in the world the press were fawning over a new gossip column piece.

After she had left NCIS she'd decided to go and grab coffee with Jethro. They'd both sneaked away to a small coffee shop that was known among the political circle for being a hiding place. They'd been able to sit together in the small terrace house turned coffee shop and not worry about the press. They'd even had decent, strong coffee to wake them up. Then, he'd returned to work and she had gone to a small food shop after she remembered that Jethro's house, as per usual, had no food.

Originally she had planned on going straight back down to Rhode Island after her meeting with SecNav, yet she had decided that she would stay an extra night before going back down. Now that she and Jethro had finally got one another back she wanted to make the most of their time together. Especially, the time before she was to return back to work; long hours, bad moods and little sleep.

So Jenny had gone to a shop, and gathered food which she could turn into something edible with minimal supplies; pasta, meet, bread, cheese, tomatoes and such things. Knowing that a taxi driver would only try and get a comment out of her which would then be in tomorrow's paper, she called up her driver and asked him to come and get her. Whilst she was not acting director, she still was entitled to security detail when she was not at work, it was just not mandatory. Her driver had smiled when he saw her, and opened her door. She'd smiled in thanks and slid in. He'd then driven her over to Jethro's, but being in the eye of media had given her inside knowledge over the years. There was the beginning of a crowd forming, and she knew it would not be long before the media were camped outside. "Can you take me to my Georgetown house please?" She had said before the car had even begun to slow down.

"Of course, Director." He had replied, and driven away. Jen had sent Jethro a text telling him to go to the house she had lived in as a child when he was finished at work, instead of home. Neither one of them was too keen on having their picture filling a double page spread.

So that was how they had ended up curled together on the sofa, watching the news in the living room of her generations old family home. A house, that as of yet the press had not decided to camp outside of.

Jenny and Jethro were comfortable as they half lay half sat there. She'd changed into an old pair of leggings and an oversized green shirt that she had found upstairs earlier. Her makeup was gone and her hair was pulled back into a pony tail. He was still in his work clothes, and she was curled into his side as she sat there. His arm was around her waist and her head was using him as a pillow.

The news flashed in front of them, both only half watching it. Neither was fully paying attention. It was currently telling the story of a woman who had testified in court and was now claiming that in doing so she had wrecked her life. Jenny already knew the story, as it was only a few weeks ago that she had been talking to the director of the FBI who had been moaning about it.

Then on came her face, and both of them sat up bolt right. In one corner of the screen was a picture of her dressed in a suit and smiling – the picture CBS had used a few years ago when she had had an interview with them. In the other was a picture of Richard, who was stood in front of the United States Emblem. Jenny and Jethro both listened to the brunette woman with a big smile, both of their hands clenching into fists as she spoke.

"_The Senator, who is currently married to the Director of NCIS, made a statement today. This follows weeks of questioning as to the truth behind rumours of a possible divorce which have plagued the news. Today, he took to the stand at a press conference and confronted the rumours, and stated that it was true that he and his wife were getting a divorce. However, the news that has shocked us all is that the Senator told reporters it was not because of his affair which came to light a few months ago." _Jenny was shocked at what she was hearing, when she saw the news clip from the conference.

"_The rumours of my marriage's collapse and a divorce are regrettably true. As of earlier this week my wife, Jenny, and I have decided to get a divorce. It was not an easy decision, but it was one that we have had to make. Our marriage was never easy; we are both people in the public's eyes after all. However it was not infidelity that has caused it to collapse. My wife has a long term illness, which has caused numerous problems over the years, and in turn constant trips to the hospital. It is that, which caused a significant strain on our marriage that has made it collapse. Regrettably, this is the end of the line, but I wish her all of the best."_

Jethro looked over to see the expression on Jenny's face. He saw the hurt, and upset that had taken over her features. He swiftly grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and switched the TV off. Then he saw the first tear fall, and realised that it had finally dawned on her that a chapter of her life had just ended. Sighing he pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into his shirt. Soothingly he ran a hand through her hair like a father does his daughter's after a nightmare. He kissed her and then felt her stiffen as she pushed herself away from him and stood up.

"Why would he do this!? I mean, I thought we were keeping things civil!" She said in disbelief as she began to pace. "I expected a bit of back stabbing, speculation of an affair – I was prepared for that! But this, this is humiliating!" She almost shouted as she pulled on the old worn pair of converse pumps that sat at the front door from years ago. At some point Jethro had followed her and put his shoes on.

"Jenny where are you going?" He questioned, softly, as she grabbed the keys to his car.

"To ask my _husband _what the hell he thinks that he is playing at!" She said before slamming the door. Gibbs watched her go, contemplating whether he should go after the red head or not. In the end he decided that he was safer off not doing so. Jenny needed to talk to her husband, and he knew that the less they were seen together the better – for her sake in the eye of the press more than his own. So he retreated back into the house dreading the thought of what it was that was going to happen.

Jenny arrived outside of the house that she and her husband had once lived in together and found that although there were a few members of the press, there were considerably less than there were outside of Jethro's house. She stopped the car outside and got out, slamming the door behind her with a thud. The red head did not even both to knock on the front door, instead she just barged in. Hearing the sound of a conversation coming from the office that she knew he used.

When she opened the door all went silent as though a mute button had been pressed. He stood there, pale blue shirt tucked into black slacks and the top button undone. His PR guy still stood next to him, both of them had obviously been having an argument – one that she guessed had something to do with her husband's new found affair.

"Jennifer." He stated, looking at her with what could almost be described as disgust. She knew why too, for once she was not dolled up; she was puffy eyes from crying on the way over and dressed in old faded clothes. But for once in her life she did not care, she was glad that she did not have his approval, because if she did then she would feel like he still had control over of her.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" She stated, not even bothering to scream or shout.

"I don't understand, I thought we were talking through our lawyers during the divorce!"

"And I thought we were being civil and honest!" She shouted back. "Jeez Richard, I have spent my whole life trying to hide my illness, then you use it as ammunition against me!"

"Jennifer, I was not going to tell the press that it was I that did wrong when I am a politician. I thought that you would understand that."

"What you _forgot _Richard, was that I am a politician too."

"Jennifer, don't boost your ego-"

"Boost my ego! You really are a self obsessed SOB, do you know that?!" She shouted back.

"I think you should both calm down." Said the PR guy who was stood silently.

"And I think you should get the hell out! You have no business in this room, NOW LEAVE!" The fired up red headed Director demanded.

"Don't speak to my people like that. I know you are annoyed-"

"Annoyed is an understatement Richard. You twisted this whole thing back on me when I have been nothing but supportive of you. All these years I have stood by your side, cooked dinners for your supporters, been the _perfect little wife_! I did every single one of the things that I hated." She sighed and turned to walk out, not knowing what to do. "You know what, do what you want. If you have to twist the truth just to keep your supporters then you do that. But me, I have people who will stand by me no matter what. You were right, anymore contact will be through my lawyer, and if you dare drag my name through the mud then you will find yourself drowning in it."

Jenny left, storming out of the house, leaving a shell shocked Richard, and panicking head of public relations in her wake. She walked out, got in the car and decided that it was time to get in touch with the lawyer Jethro had recommended, and set up a meeting. Once the number was dialled she waited for the woman to pick up. "Ginger Yates."

"Hello, my name is Director Jennifer Shepard. I spoke to you the other evening about my divorce. Jethro recommended you."

"Well, my ex-husband would not have been my first choice."

"You come highly recommended – he should know. There have been a few developments, I was wondering if we could possibly meet?"

By the time Jenny had returned to the Georgetown house, she was considerably calmer and had arranged to meet with Ginger Yates in a couple of days, once she had brought all of her things back to the city from Rhode Island. When she entered the house, Gibbs was till sat in the living room, head in his hands.

"Hey." She said, as she went to sit down beside him.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, visibly worried about her.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I rang your ex-wife."

"Which one?" He asked, momentarily terrified at the prospect of Jenny and Diane talking.

"My lawyer." She replied, laughing. Both of them smiled and she relaxed into his embrace.

"What did he say?"

"Not much, I didn't give him chance to. But he's had his chance, if he's waiting for me to bite then he's going to have a long wait!" She said with a smile as she leant up to kiss Jethro's lips softly.

"That's my girl."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – so sorry for the delay. I want to thank Left My Heart in Paris for her help. Anways, enjoy. Sorry about me not replying to your reviews, but know they mean a lot, I just have a lot on. **

**Enjoy! **

The following morning, when Jethro woke got up to leave and go back to his house, and fight through the layer of reporters so he could change for work, Jenny got up as well. She went down into the kitchen and made them both some coffee and toast. She was still in her leggings from the night before as well as the shirt that she had slept in. They ate in the kitchen in relative silence. Yet the silence was welcomed, after years spent with people who didn't know them well enough to appreciate these moments, this seemed as though it was a long time coming.

When they had both finished, Jethro grabbed his coat and kissed Jenny goodbye. She smiled and quickly hugged him, closing her eyes and engraving the moment solidly into her brain. "If the reporters as still there tonight – or even if they're not – then you can come here. I should be back later on, and if not then you still have your key."

"Thank you." He said, before he leant in to kiss her once more before dragging himself away from her. She smiled as she watched him leave before she returned into her house and went in search of a change of clothes. After a good half hour searching she found an old US Navy hoodie which she guessed had belonged to one of her old boyfriends from many years ago. She changed into that and a fresh pair of leggings. With that done she tied up her hair and grabbed the car keys and her phone.

Within a further half hour she had collected her car and was on the first leg of her long journey back down to the beach house in Rhode Island. She had her phone plugged in and was letting the soft music was over her as she went. The country passed her by through the windows, trees came and went, and cars passed her by and overtook. Roads divided and she carried on, and yet as she went she couldn't shake the feeling that her light and care free feeling from the previous night had been only momentary. Her emotions were all over the place, she didn't know whether she was coming or going. One moment she felt on top of the world, madly in love and all up for a second chance, and the next she felt like the worst person in the world, as though she was as bad as her husband. Jenny was tired, and whilst she loved the fact she was back with Jethro, she couldn't seem to get a grasp on her emotions.

Hours passed and songs changed, different beats, chords, and notes filled the car. Pop turned to country, which turned to soft rock and a whole heard of other styles. She listened to the singers change and lyrics hit home. Yet she kept on driving, heading to that place that was still escapism. By the time she got down to the beach house it was nearing lunch time and the sun was high in the sky. The red head got out of the car and walked to the door, pausing for a moment to study the beach. The waves were crashing in, toppling over themselves in a race to get up the beach first. The sun was shining down, fighting to make its way through the thick white clouds that blanketed the sky. The beach was empty; then again it always had been since she came down.

Jenny walked into the house and put down her phone and keys and looked at the place. It looked lived in, and that made her smile. She silently vowed that whatever happened next she would take time every year to come down to here, even if it was just for a few days. The red headed director smiled and walked upstairs to grab a bag and begin to pack. It didn't take long to put the clothes into the bag she'd brought with her, after all there was not much and she had never completely unpacked. Around twenty minutes alter the bag was sat on the coach and Jenny was sorting through the food that she still had there. As she finished one cupboard, the red head looked out of the window and picked up her coffee before deciding to go and take a walk. She shoved her phone in the pocket of her hoodie and locked the door behind her.

She still had her cup of coffee in her hand as she began to walk along the sand that she and Jethro had run along. She left a trail of footprints behind of her. The soft breeze blew against her face and she stood looking out to sea. Thinking of how the water had so much freedom. Of all the things it could do. This place was her place; somewhere she could escape to when things got bad. And this was as bad as things had been in a long time.

It was a couple of days later when Jenny met up with her lawyer to talk about the divorce. By the time she did so, the director was happily settled back into her Georgetown house. Jethro was staying there as his house still had reporters camped outside which made things slightly difficult. So instead he was sleeping at Jenny's, although it was not that either of them actually minded.

Jenny walked into the small café and looked around for the other woman. Jenny was dressed in a pair of skinny black jeans, and had on a white, oversized blouse with the sleeves rolled up. On her feet was the pair of red suede heels she had ordered before all of this had come to a head. Jen walked over to a table in the corner where the other red head was sat. She smiled and shook Ginger's hand. The other woman was taller than Jenny, had red hair and was curvy. She had on a pair of black tulip pants and a royal blue silk blouse. Her hair was cut into a short wedge bob and she had a feathered fringe. The overall impression was serious and professional, but Jenny got the impression that she would be the sort of friend that you hold onto for life.

"It's nice to finally meet you." Said Jenny with a smile.

"I was half expecting our mutual friend to be accompanying you." Said the other woman with a small smile as she referred to Jethro.

"He has work." Said Jenny as she sat down.

"He always did." The other woman replied almost under her breath. Jenny ordered a coffee and thanked the waitress. It was eleven in the morning and the place was relatively quiet before the lunch time rush. "Okay, so down to business. When was the last time you spoke to your husband?" She asked as she took the cap off of her pen and flipped to a clean page in her pad.

"When the scandal came out, the night I last called you." Said Jenny with a smiled as she wrapped her fingers around the mug in front of her.

"Okay, I'm going to advice you not to speak to him again until the hearing. Have you any objection to that?"

"Not in the slightest." Said Jenny, more relieved at the fact she would not be talking to Richard.

"If you do need to be near him, have whiteness's present, preferably me, but anyone would be fine. I take you have security detail?"

"I do."

"Then have one of them."

"Okay." Said Jenny nodding. "What about seeing Gibbs?"

"I'd say no, but he always was stubborn headed, and I doubt he would listen anyway." Said the other woman, making both of them smirk. "Just keep it out of the public eye." She added seriously.

"Shouldn't be too hard to do, he doesn't exactly talk much."

"I know that." She made a quick note before looking up again. "You said you signed pre-nups before the marriage?"

"Yes I did." She said with a smile.

"That will make things easier. What do you want from him? Alimony usually gets them in a state." She said referring to Gibbs and his alimony payments.

"I don't want anything from that piece of cheating rubbish."

"I suggest you say fight for something or else it appears to the press you are the one who did something wrong when in fact you are the innocent party."

"Oh . . . okay." She said as she thought for a moment. "How about considering we bought the house together, then he can have it, but when it sells I want 50% of the money?"

"Sound like a good compromise." Said Ginger as she made a not again. "Anything else?"

"Just what I bought."

"That is fair and easy to fight for. When you get greedy you are more likely to get brushed off – I should know." She said with a smirk. "Okay, I think that is all, so you have Richard's lawyer's details?"

"Yeah, here you go. I made sure to get them last time I saw him." Jenny slid a small card across the table. Ginger slid it into her folder and began to pack away.

"I'm going to get a rush put on this but also I want to make sure that the press do not get wind of half of the details."

"Thank you, for all of it." She said with a smile. "I know it must be awkward dealing with your ex's …"

"In all honestly I wish you the best of luck. He deserves to be happy. And so do you, I see a lot of people falling out of love, it's nice to see you having light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I had have had." She said with a smile.

"I never realised how hard it was I don't think. Still feel as though I am doing something wrong."

"You're not, he was. Anyway, I must go, I will get in touch when I have some news."Thank you again." With that the two parted ways until the next time they could moan about their former relationships.

**Please review xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer – NCIS is not mine**

**Authors note – I hope that you all enjoy this, it is the final chapter and I want to thank you all for the support you have given me – I never thought it would be this much of a success. If any of you are interested, then go and read the book 'fly away home' by Jennifer Weiner which inspired me.**

**Thanks to Left my heart in Paris for her help too, and enjoy.**

'_It's all talk, talk talk, talkin' in the wind, It only slows you down if you start listenin', And it's a whole lot harder to shine, Thank undermine' – Undermine by Hayden Panettiere (a.k.a Juliette Barnes in Nashville), this song is where I got the title from. _

**Harder to Shine**

The sun was sat high in the bright blue sky amongst the light, white, fluffy clouds, shining down on a busy working city. Still there was a cool chill in the air, yet the place seamed brighter on that Friday. People busied themselves, waiting for the time to pass so that they could return home for the weekend, and forget about the worries of work for just a couple of days. Children sat watching the clock and waiting for home time to arrive, teenagers passed notes to one another as they added the final details to that evening's party, whilst mothers relished in the last few hours of silence.

Sun shone into her office through the big glass window behind her. The Navy Yard was a blaze with life, and NCIS was just the same. Agents came and went as they checked out new leads on their cases and went to talk to witnesses. Jenny sat there, reading through her final case file, deciphering the agents scrawl like script and attempting to remember the days when she was the one who had to write the case reports and not just sign them off.

It had been a couple of months now since she returned to work following her three weeks off. Now that she was back, Jenny Shepard felt a lot happier than she had in a long time. When he had returned, she had been safe in the knowledge that her divorce was in the works and that she had freedom. Once more the red head had become absorbed into her work, yet at the end of the day, there stood Jethro in her office door, ready to take her home. The paparazzi had been resilient for the first couple of weeks, but thankfully now they had died back down so Jenny didn't have to worry.

She was back living in her George Town house and everything seemed sat in motion. Things had changed in the past couple of months though, and for once in her life the changes were firmly for the better. She and Jethro had grown even closer, and their relationship felt worn and comfortable within weeks, yet at the same time new and adventurous. Every morning she woke up to see him felt like she had died and gone to heaven. Things were perfect. Then the light coming through the window caught her diamond ring that she was swirling around her finger and everything came back to her about the night he had asked her.

_Together they lay on the cool grass in her back garden at the Georgetown house. Neither was completely sure how it was that they had ended up like that. But they were comfy, looking up at the stars and listening to the sound of the birds and owls somewhere close. She had her head resting against is chest and was listening to his heartbeat as he ran his hands through her long red hair that was down and lose. "I love you." He whispered into the night, and she raised her head to look at him, shocked that he had just out right say it. A large smile spread across her face and she could not be any happier. She moved so that he lips hovered over his and kissed him softly and sweetly, leaving them both smiling happily._

"_I love you too." She said from the heart before kissing him again. She looked in his eyes, silently wondering why he had suddenly started talking about how he felt. This was a man who didn't do emotions. But the red head decided that she should just push it from her mind and enjoy the moment._

_Gibbs started getting up and she moved so her could do, smirking at the way he groaned when he did. "Old man." She mumbled before he helped her get up and head slapped her. "Ahh!" She stated in mock horror before laughing._

_Jenny then walked over to the old wooden swing she had loved as a child. Jethro followed her and smiled as she did so and sat down on the swig, smiling as she pushed herself off. He then stood behind and pushed her. "My dad built me this swing one time when he was home. I was at school at the time; I came home and smiled so much. I think I stayed on it for hours on end that evening." She said with a smile. "I used to jump off of it and then he would moan at me to be careful. I never listened." _

"_Neither did Kel. I built her one, she helped me. Shannon went mad when she jumped off, so scared that she would get hurt. In the end I put a mass of duvets underneath and they were both happy." The silver haired man said and Jenny spun so she could see him._

"_She was a very lucky little girl." Said the red head._

"_No, I was the lucky one." He said before pushing her higher that before so that she shrieked. He then ran around in front of her, grabbed the small velvet box from his pocket and got down on one knee – all in a split second. _

"_Jethro!" She said gob smacked as she saw him, still swinging fast from his push._

"_Marry me?" Was all he said, simply and perfectly, not bothering with a long speech because that was not either of their styles. She had an almighty smile on her face, and just as she had done as a child, when the swing swung forward she jumped straight off and into his arms, squealing as she did so and wrapping her legs around his waist. "Is that a yes?" He questioned. She crashed her lips down onto his and smiled the whole way through._

"_Yes you old man, that's a yes!" And with that he kissed her again as they both stood up and smiled. Her then took her left hand and placed the ring on her finger. It was simple and beautiful, a simple gold band with a single diamond set into it. "It's beautiful." She said with a smile._

"_You sure?" He questioned, worrying she wouldn't like it._

"_Yes, it is more beautiful than anything I have ever seen." She said before kissing him all over again._

A small smile spread across her face at the happy memory. She looked at the ring and regretfully put it onto her right hand so that the other lawyers at the hearing in an hour would not notice the fact she was engaged. In just an hour she would be signing her divorce papers and it was about damn time. Because as soon as she left that room she was flying off to Paris with Jethro, for a romantic weekend away, and she supposed to elope too.

Jenny looked up at the sound of her ever loyal assistant knocking on her door before entering. "Director, your car is ready to take your meeting, and Ms Yates is in the car waiting." Said Cynthia with a big smile that never seemed to fade.

"Thank you Cynthia, you may go home now." The director said as she mentally prepared herself for the meeting she was about to have. "Have a good weekend."

"You too Director, and enjoy Paris. All the details are e-mailed to you so that you have them with you. Good luck at the hearing and I'll see you Tuesday."

"Thank you Cynthia, you are a life saver! I'll see you Tuesday." And with that her assistant left. Jenny ran a hand through her hair and moved into her bathroom. She was in a knee length black dress with an empire line and a thin lace top coat. It was beautiful with pleating at the top and thin straps at the top.

She added a coat of red lipstick to rub it in his face and smiled. She then walked back into her office and grabbed the emerald green blazer off of the back of her chair. It was fitted with a single button that synched her in at her waist and was the same colour as the stilettos on her feet. Then, she picked up her A4 clutch bag which contained her papers for the flight, passport, money and all the documents that she needed for the divorce. Jenny then but her badge on her blazer pocket as she always did. With everything sorted she picked p her mobile and sent a text to Jethro telling him she was leaving now and would see him soon. With that she then left her office and went on her way to the car that was waiting.

When she got there, she slid in and saw that Ginger was waiting; her bag placed neatly on her knee and her phone in hand texting. She looked over and smiled at the other red head as she slid into the leather interior. Ginger had her wedge cut, bob hair straight as always so that it was perfect. She was wearing a navy blue knee length tulip skirt with a white shirt tucked in which had navy pin stripes on it. Around her waist was a thin red leather belt and on her feet were navy blue, patent leather stilettos. "You look nice." She said with a smile, her eyes flashing across to her whilst her fingers still types away on her phone.

"So do you." Jenny replied with a smile, as the car began to drive away. The car ride was quiet; there was a twist of nerves in her stomach as they went. The pair did not talk about what was about to happen, hell they both were well aware of the fact that they had talked about this day none stop recently, how Jenny would sit there silently, looking pretty and innocent whilst Ginger placed her client's husband in a vice and squeezed everything she wanted out.

Jenny had stuck to her guns about what she wanted: what was hers, and half the money the house sold for when he was to sell it. However it turned out her husband had wanted the whole thing, he'd been prepared to put alimony on the table, but so far it looked as though his lawyer was going to agree with Jenny's terms with the understanding that she would not go to the press.

When they finally pulled up outside of the courthouse Jenny sighed and pulled out her compact mirror and checked her makeup was okay before she shut it and took a deep breath. "You ready for this?" Questioned Ginger with a smile. She had seen so many marriage's break down, but every time it still made her give up on love a little more. But there was something different with Jenny. She wasn't sure whether it was the fact that she was the current girlfriend of her ex-husband or whether it was simply the fact that they were reasonably similar. But she truly wanted Jenny to get what she wanted out of this marriage; she was a woman who had done absolutely nothing wrong. Jenny had stood by her husband until the last moment, and now she was paying for trying to live her own dreams.

"Yeah, the sooner I am done with him the better." Said Jenny with a smile on her face. With that the two red heads got out of the black town car and walked into the courthouse followed by three security guards in case the press had got wind. When they walked into the entrance, Jenny and Ginger went in front, their heels clicking on the tiled flooring as they went. Ginger walked slightly ahead so that she could take Jenny to the room they were to go in.

When they entered the room they saw a large oval table in the centre and on the far side sat Richard and his lawyer. Jenny walked in and sat opposite them, ginger and a security guy on one side and two security guys on the other. "Jennifer, was the security all that necessary? I mean I am a senator and don't have any." Said Richard with a smug look and a raised eyebrow.

"Well considering the press I have had on my doorstep along with the number of high profile opp's in the work, yes, really they are." She said, only half lying. In actual fact she only needed one security guard when she was in a court house. But she decided to have three, just to wind him up and show off a little. After all what can you do if you can't have a little fun from time to time?

"I thought you would love the press Jennifer? After all you were always kissing their ass if I remember correctly." Said her soon to be ex-husband. Jenny could feel her red head temper rising, he spoke so calmly but knew exactly where to apply pressure.

"And yet I wasn't the one who did the press conference turning the person I was married to over to the hands of the media, now was I?" She replied with a smirk, somehow summoning all of her strength and putting it into not blowing her top. The thought that Jethro would be waiting for her outside when all of this was over filled her with warmth and excitement.

"Well, I only managed to get in first. I guess that never was something you were very good at." He said with a raised eyebrow. Beside of Jenny, Ginger looked down to see the other red head's fists clenching. Knowing she did not have long before Jenny slapped the man and she lost all of her leverage over him, she decided that it was time to step in.

"Okay you pair, let's finish this argument once and for all shall we?" Said Ginger, smiling sweetly as she looked at the opposite side of the table. She looked over to Richard's lawyer and smiled, catching his eye. Both wanted to come to an agreement and to be honest she had nothing against the man, just the one who was paying his wages.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Said the other man, he was in his late thirties and had blonde hair, a slight belly and yet was averagely attractive. He eyed ginger, obviously trying to get some sort of hint about who he was going up against in this battle. Everyone knew that the Director of NCIS was one of the most powerful women in the states, and determined. Everyone also was well aware of the temper a red head could have, so having two sitting opposite from this man was slightly daunting.

"So, my client has outlined her terms of the divorce which are a lot less that she should be asking for and more than fair. Is your client willing to agree with those terms?" Ginger began. She set things in motion. She and the blonde lawyer battled things out for a good hour. Going around and around in circles. Yet they ended up with Richard reluctantly agreeing to Jenny's conditions. The whole time the married couple had remained well and truly silent, glaring at each other as if trying to sort things out between one another without words. Yet in the end, only one man could ever read Jenny that well, and it had never been her husband.

"So we are decided?" Said Ginger, feeling drained after the debate. Jenny was mentally wondering what the time was, wondering if Jethro would be waiting for her already.

"Yes, those conditions will have to do unless you fancy budging?"

"Not a chance mate." Said Ginger with a groan before she dug out the divorce papers and passed them over the table. Richards's lawyer picked up the papers and painfully slowly read through each and every word before he turned to Richard and whispered in his ear.

"Oh for Goodness sake! Just give her what she wants then we can both go our own ways. She is obviously determined on acting like a spoilt brat!" HE said a little louder so Jenny could hear; she just raised an eyebrow but smirked as he signed the divorce papers and slid them across the table to Jenny. She took the pen and carefully signed her own curly signature. With that done she let out a laugh, and smiled to Ginger.

They both stood up and were about to walk out of the room. "It isn't behaving like a spoilt child; it's called playing the game, something you obviously know nothing about." And with that she left, happy she would not longer have to deal with the Senator. So with her head held high, and a wicked smile on her face, Jenny and Ginger walked out of the room, the three security guys only a few feet behind them. What none of them see, but Jenny knew was happening, was the look that crossed Richard's face, as he realised that she really did know how to play politics. For the first time in his life, he realised just who he had been married to, and what she had been capable. And it made him sick to the stomach to think of the hell she could cause if she so closed to do.

As they walked out of the building and onto the street, Jenny smiled at the sight of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He was stood there, leaning against the black sedan car smirking, dressed casually in a pair of jeans, a polo shirt and his grey jacket. She turned to Ginger and smiled at her. "Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. You allowed me to get my life back under my own control." Jenny said with a smile.

"You are more than welcome. Make it work with Gibbs, he needs someone bull headed, and it thinks that is you."

"I'll take that as a complement." Said Jenny with a small laugh and the pair walked over to where Gibbs was stood. Jenny smiled at him and walked over s she was stood next to him. His arm around her waist and a smile on both of their faces,

"Make this one work Gibbs; I don't want to be dealing with another divorce for Jenny Shepard." Said Ginger to her ex-husband.

"I will do." He said nodding before leaning down and softly kissing Jenny. "Thanks Ginger." He said. What none of them knew at that moment was that Richard had walked out of the building just in time to see Jenny and Jethro kissing. After being beaten by her at his own game and being made out to be the bad guy he was fuming. Seeing those two drove him mad. So he went running down the steps.

"Oi! You sly piece of dirt! You are nothing but a stupid slut!" He shouted as he came running down. Jenny watched as Jethro's first clenched and yet she did nothing to stop him.

"Oh shut up Richard, Jethro and I never did anything, only when we were separated!" Said Jenny, now just wanting to get away and leave instead of picking a fight.

"I am not letting you get away with this! You probably had half a dozen men in our bed over the years!" He shouted, yet he said nothing else because Jethro's hand collided with his face and he fell backward.

"She was always better than you, and you will never deserve her!" He said, fighting the urge to then spit on him. Jenny just looked down at her now ex-husband and felt nothing.

"That was a long time coming." She said with a smile.

With that, Jenny and Jethro got into the car and drove off. Their bags were in the boot and their hands were held. The pair of them left Ginger laughing and Richard shocked. For the first time in a long time Jenny Sheppard was not being smothered by an egotistical man who made it hard to shine. Now she was free, jetting off to have fun and live her life how she planned. She was happy, in love and with a man who was not afraid to let her shine as bright as she pleased.

No longer was it harder to shine.


End file.
